IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints
Technology developments have changed
people
’s lives in many aspects. Some
people
 consider the changes are positive and
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others hold
counter arguments
Correct your spelling
counterarguments
show examples
. In my opinion, modern
technologies
 bring about positive effects more than negative effects. Supporters
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the positive effects
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 from modern
technologies
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
show examples
 that they help
people
 have closer connections.
For example
, owing to the development of social
media
,
people
 nowadays contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their friends or relatives more frequently than before, enabling
people
 to receive the most updated news of their friends and provide necessary assistance.
Furthermore
, modern
technologies
also
 help business increase their efficiency by exploiting more robots
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 manufacturing or holding online meetings. These are only some parts of
many
Correct article usage
the many
show examples
 benefits attributed to
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 developments.
In contrast
, many
people
 argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology brings disadvantages more than advantages. To illustrate, children may focus on their social
media
instead
 of
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
interaction with others in person when they participate in festival celebrations or important events. Many parents consider
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 impolite and
hence
 do not support their children to use social
media
.
People
 holding
this
 viewpoint mainly think
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 modern
technologies
 downgrade the quality of
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
 interaction by distracting
people
 with social
media
. In my opinion, I think modern
technologies
 certainly lead to some disadvantages.
However
, I believe that if
technologies
 are applied properly, they can create many benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
People
 should have more intention on when to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 certain
technologies
 and refrain from using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in improper venues.
Overall
, modern
technologies
 have brought many advantages to
people
 by helping
people
 have stronger connections than before.
However
,
people
 should
also
 have attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using these
technologies
 properly and
preventing
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
 themselves from being impolite when interacting with
people
 in person.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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