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Band 6.5

Nowadays, Internet addiction is becoming a common phenomenon. What are causes and effects of this problem?

#internet #addiction #phenomenon #effects
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Internet addition is becoming more widespread to many people these days.
This
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 essay will examine the causes
as well as
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 the effects related to
this
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 tendency. There are a variety of different causes for
this
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 phenomenon.
To begin
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 with the first cause is its convenience. Detail: It’s very clear that social network is becoming more common and convenient that almost society could access by themselves. Another contributing factor to mention is that community tend to watch “drama” in daily life. Examples: like that man win prize of lottery or those dogs are scare their boss,… And the
last
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 cause can be new information. Social enjoy reading interesting news about the world. Explanations: like to know some new Kpop girl or boy’s groups, situations about politic and economy. Unexpectedly, there are some serious significant effects to be concerned. The first and most important is that the badness for health. Explanations: it does makes us tired, exhausted and have headache. Another effect no less important is that Internet will make us lazy for doing something. Details: we minimize hour on working, studying even moving.
Finally
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, we have less space for our family or friends. Examples: when we spend much days on surfing Internet that we didn’t have daytime for our lovely family and good friends. In conclusion, social media addiction is a big problem that affects a lot of population nowadays. It’s mainly caused by some not essential things. From what has been discussed, experts advised that crowd should manage time reasonably and spend more moments on their own family.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task response
Ensure that the essay addresses the causes and effects of Internet addiction with specific and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas in a more coherent and cohesive manner. Use transitional words and phrases to connect ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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