IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As a result of electronic invitations such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays a large number of
people
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use
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 electronic invitations like a computer and so on. But some
people
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 think so one negative side is that
this
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 kind of
technology
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 will be effected on their health. I definitely
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
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this
Linking Words
 side. I will explain in my essay why I choose
this
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 way. In our rapidly changing world,
technology
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 is
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 important part of our life. Because in our daily
life
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,life
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 many
people
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use
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the
Remove the article
apply
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any type of
technology
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in
Change preposition
apply
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everywhere
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for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example, work, study or
an other
Correct your spelling
another
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.
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Use
Wrong verb form
Using
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 the phone or computer, one best side is that when
people
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 have
a difficulties
Correct the article-noun agreement
difficulties
a difficulty
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 with something they can solve problems
such
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 as don't understand something .On top of that, developing technologies are creating new opportunities for us.
for example
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, we can learn useful things from our mobile phones,
that is
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, we can acquire worldly knowledge online, expand our thinking and discover new ideas, and thereby contribute to the development of the country.
On the other hand
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,it can be noted that
technology
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 is not only an important part of our life but
also
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 creates some problems.
for example
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,
as a result
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 of young
people
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's improper
use
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 of mobile communication devices and computers, negative problems are arising in our society.
In addition
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, I should mention that excessive
use
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 of various technologies causes
people
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 to get some diseases. especially
people
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 are harmed by technologies used without physical movement.In my
opinion
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,opinion
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this
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 situation should not be ignored. because the
use
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 of social networks or
technology
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 without much physical activity naturally leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of communication and several diseases in humans. In a nutshell, as I mentioned above, if we
use
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technology
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 in large quantities,
people
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 will lose interest in the natural environment and become laziness and many other consequences

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