Topic: We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

#topic #technology #change #future #computers

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In recent years, the implementation of computers has increased significantly in our daily tasks.

Due to

the advancement of technology,

this

trend will continue in the upcoming days and become more active.

However

, we do not have to take down our guard and trust these technologies' benefits. Neural networking improvements will cause them to be more usable in the future. Routine work,which we have adopted to do by ourselves, will be done by enhanced technologies.

For instance

, washing dishes and clothes have been already automated. Self-driving cars are going to be ready to enter our lives.

Also

, research is ongoing about implanting technology-based organs and scientists plan that people's valued body units can be replaced easily.

To sum up

, nearly everything will be digitalized in the future.

Nonetheless

, we should not rely so much on advanced machine learning. The reason is that these are not precise at one hundred percent and ethics laws are not implemented properly.

Furthermore

, technologies' inadequate responses and actions can lead to trouble. Recent research concludes that one commercial company's customer services' artificial intelligence-based bot screws its customers and replies immorally. Another example is that Amazon's multi-functional artificial intelligence, Alexa, told one child to grab a knife and attack his/her parents. By considering these situations, we should not rely so much on computer-based machinery. In conclusion,

as a consequence

of significant improvements in automation, most of the work that our duties will be replaced by embedded machines. But, putting our confidence in these will result badly.

Submitted by nurbala788788 on Sun Feb 11 2024

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task achievement

You provided a reasonable attempt to address the prompt, but your response needs more development in terms of providing specific examples and clear explanations to support your points. Work on expanding your ideas with clear justifications to show the impact that dependence on computer-based technology will have.

coherence cohesion

Be sure to provide a more logical structure to your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a series of supporting sentences that develop that idea. Transition words and phrases can also help with the flow from one idea to the next.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion seems rushed and does not adequately summarize the ideas presented in the essay. It's important to restate your main points and provide a clear final thought on the topic to reinforce your position and give the essay a sense of closure.

task achievement

While you have provided examples, they need to be more relevant and clearly explained. It's important that each example directly relates to the point you're trying to make and is developed enough to be persuasive to the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

artificial intelligence
automation
digital resources
ubiquitous
digital divide
virtual realities
e-waste
screen time
medical technology
tech-driven economies
human relationships
efficient resource management

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Topic: We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Your opinion

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Do advantages of working at home outweigh diadvantages?

Nowsday, a growing numboer of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Too much emphasis is placed on education. More government money should be spent on providing free-time activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that edcation should be the responsible of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themsevles . Dicuss both views , express your opinion .

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve.