IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
The importance of animal
experiments
 cannot be
over emphasized
Correct your spelling
overemphasized
show examples
. Animal
experiments
 benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society by helping medical products or treatments safer.
However
, many argue that animal
experiments
 are inhumane
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 given that the
animals
 may need to suffer painful conditions.
Although
 the disadvantages proposed by those who disagree
animal
Change preposition
with animal
show examples
experiments
 seem reasonable, I believe that animal
experiments
 are still needed.
First,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animal
experiments
 have impacts on only a few
animals
instead
 of a species. When conducting research
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
animals
, researchers only use a number of
animals
 and do not put the whole species
under
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
.
Moreover
, nowadays, many research institutes have independent committees to make sure that the researchers follow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain
ethic
Replace the word
ethical
show examples
 instructions, limiting the damage to the species and the environment.
Second,
the outcomes of animal
experiments
 are more important than the consequences for certain
animals
.
For example
, if a biology company does not conduct animal
experiments
 when inventing a new vaccine and directly applies it
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 humans, side effects may happen
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
people
 and cause a fatal situation.
Therefore
, I believe that animal
experiments
 have their
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 and should not be forbidden just owing to
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 reason of inhumane.
Third,
some
people
 that counter animal
experiments
 claim a reason that those
animals
 should not suffer the painful experiment. I believe that it is true that those
animals
 do not deserve
this
 experience.
However
, do these
people
 ever consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the situation and the risk that may happen
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 humans? In my opinion, many research institutes are making efforts to reduce the impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
 and since animal
experiments
 are a kind of protection for humans,
people
 who disagree with animal
experiments
 should either propose a solution or stop having
this
 kind of unrealistic statement.
Overall
, I believe that animal
experiments
 are justified and needed because of their importance for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society and
people
’s safety about taking treatments or medicine.
Submitted by weipower1108 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
What to do next:
Look at other essays: