Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many
government
Change to a plural noun
governments
show examples
believe that economic
progress
is their most important goal, but some people don’t think so. They said that other types of
progress
were equally important for a
country
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and
giving
Change the form of the verb
give
show examples
my own opinion. On the one hand, economic
progress
help to enrich the
country
where we live.
For example
, if we have more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or machines, we can have more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
to stand near Western
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, so it will be the best solution to help that.
Secondly
, when we are larger in the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
, our money will be more
value
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
. The higher value, the more comfortable we can get.
Besides
, economic
progress
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
to attract the other
country
. It will be a huge benefit to go
farther
Correct your spelling
further
show examples
when we can meet and work with more experts in the world.
For instance
, David Beckham bought our new car 4 years ago which help our
country
connected
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
to
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
show examples
and be more famous.
On the other hand
, the others are equally important.
For example
, we can’t do that without graduation. The more genius we made, the more
achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
achievements
we can get. Even though, food and drinks are
also
necessary. It’s one of the most things that they need, so we can make them satisfied just by the food or drinks. One of the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
things
thathave
Correct your spelling
that have
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
attention
Add an article
the attention
show examples
from
Add an article
a foreigner
show examples
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
show examples
is the level of pollution. You can’t eat in the dirty space and they do so. Because of that,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
care more about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
washing and cleaning will be the best choice.
Furthermore
, they won’t stay here for too long if we don’t have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
attractive location.
To conclude
, economic
progress
is important but
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
progress
is equally too. I hope that
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
will take care more
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
them to improve our
country
.
Submitted by tamnguyen160424 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: