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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram shows the components of a neuron and how it works Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows the components of a neuron and how it works Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The lecturer discusses
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the main
feactures
Correct your spelling
features
 of
Use synonyms
neuron
Fix the agreement mistake
neurons
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, and he divides
Use synonyms
neuron
Fix the agreement mistake
neurons
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 into seven parts to report.
Also
Linking Words
, he indicates the function that each part
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 served.
First,
Linking Words
ball-like
Correct article usage
the ball-like
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cell
Use synonyms
body
Use synonyms
, one of the most important pieces in a
neuron
Use synonyms
, is the core of the
neuron
Use synonyms
, and it is responsible for soma. Dendrites, which the
cell
Use synonyms
body
Use synonyms
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounds
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 in, can receive messages from other cells. When dendrites obtain the message.
Axon
Use synonyms
, between
Use synonyms
cell
Add an article
the cell
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body
Use synonyms
 and terminal buttons, is able to pass messages away from other
cells
Change noun form
cells'
cell's
show examples
Use synonyms
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 to other neurons, muscles, or glands. Beneath the
axon
Use synonyms
, there has some electrical signal
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 down
Use synonyms
axon
Add an article
the axon
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Myelin
Correct article usage
the Myelin
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 sheath that covers the
axon
Use synonyms
 helps speed neural impulses.
Final
Change the word
Finally
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, terminal buttons are able to link or connect
another cells
Replace the adjective
another cell
other cells
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, in order to pass the electrical signal. Terminal
bottons
Correct your spelling
buttons
 will link with another
cell
Use synonyms
's dendrites. Because neurons connect with each other, the
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
control
 messages are able to pass through these neurons.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words neuron, cell, body, axon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • neuron
  • nervous system
  • dendrites
  • soma
  • cell body
  • nucleus
  • axon
  • electrical impulses
  • myelin sheath
  • axon terminals
  • neurotransmitters
  • synapse
  • signal transmission
  • insulating
  • unmyelinated fibers
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