IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the graph below show the number of drivers in Britain who have been caught driving too fast by speed cameras placed on roads, and the number of people killed in road accidents, over an eight_year priod since the introduction of speed cameras. the tables show the results of a survey on people's opinions on speed cameras.

the graph below show the number of drivers in Britain who have been caught driving too fast by speed cameras placed on roads, and the number of people killed in road accidents, over an eight_year priod since the introduction of speed cameras. the tables show the results of a survey on people's opinions on speed cameras.
#show #drivers #britain #cameras #roads #people #road #accidents #eight_year #priod #introduction #tables #results #survey
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The presented graphs depict the
number
Use synonyms
 of drivers in the UK
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
 caught by speed
cameras
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
placed on roads, and the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who
killed
Add a missing verb
were killed
show examples
 in
road
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
, during
Correct article usage
the eight_year
show examples
eight_year
Correct your spelling
eight-year
 period since the speed
cameras
Use synonyms
lunched
Correct your spelling
launched
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the tables illustrate people’s
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of view on speed
cameras
Use synonyms
. The first graph shows that 200,000 drivers were caught speeding in the first year and
also
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 amount
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 slightly to 1,600,000 drivers in 8
years
Use synonyms
 which means speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 do
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 seem really useful over an eight _year period in reducing of disobey of rules. The second graph
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
 the
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
 amount of
road
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
accidents
Change the noun form
accident
show examples
 fatalities during the
years
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the first year,
accidents
Use synonyms
 have been 3,000 but it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuation line between 3,000 and 3,500 in the following eight
years
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, tables show the results of a survey on people’s opinions on speed
cameras
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
agree that speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 do not play the
roll
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
 and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are worthless in reducing the
number
Use synonyms
 of
accidents
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, they think that the main reason for the installation of speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 is to raise revenue which
achive
Correct your spelling
achieves
 71
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and another view
that is
Linking Words
 applied to improve
road
Use synonyms
 safety with less than 30
ratio
Change to a plural noun
ratios
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
, they believe that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cameras
Use synonyms
 on the
road
Use synonyms
 is too many and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more than a half percentage
also
Linking Words
 a few people say that the speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 are too few and about
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 on the roads.
Overall
Linking Words
, both graphs and tables are shown that
although
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 increased
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
years
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it doesn’t have a useful impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
road
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 as well,
this
Linking Words
 huge
number
Use synonyms
 of existing
cameras
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 meaningless.
Submitted by javadsaady1992 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cameras, road, accidents, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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