IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

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Smoking is a dangerous habit, but many
people
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 still do it. There are different reasons why
people
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 continue smoking,
such
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 as addiction, social pressure, and stress.
However
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, there are
also
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 ways to reduce smoking in society, including education and
government
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 actions. One reason why
people
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smoke
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 is addiction. Cigarettes contain nicotine, which makes
people
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 dependent on them. When
people
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 try to quit, they feel uncomfortable and anxious, so they start smoking again.
This
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 makes it very hard for smokers to stop. Another reason is social influence. Many
people
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 start smoking because their friends or family members
smoke
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. In some cultures, smoking is common, so
people
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 do not think it is a big problem.
Also
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, movies and advertisements sometimes show smoking in a positive way, making it look attractive.Stress is
also
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 a big reason. Many
people
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smoke
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 to relax or to deal with problems. When they feel nervous or sad, smoking helps them feel better for a short time. Because of
this
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, they continue smoking even though it is harmful.There are some ways to reduce smoking. One way is education. Schools should teach students about the dangers of smoking so that they do not start.
Also
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, public health campaigns can show
people
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 how smoking affects their health.Another way is
government
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 action. The
government
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 can make cigarettes more expensive by increasing taxes.
Also
Linking Words
, smoking should be banned in public places so that fewer
people
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 are encouraged to
smoke
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. In conclusion,
people
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smoke
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 because of addiction, social influences, and stress.
However
Linking Words
, education and
government
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 rules can help reduce smoking in society. By taking these steps, fewer
people
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 will
smoke
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, and society will be healthier.

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positive
Your introduction clearly states the topic and the main points you will discuss. This sets a strong foundation for the essay.
improvement
Try to provide more specific examples of social pressure and stress, as this can strengthen your arguments.
improvement
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well, but consider reiterating the importance of the issue to make it more impactful.
improvement
Make sure to connect your ideas more fluidly to enhance the flow of the essay. Using linking words can help guide the reader through your arguments.
positive
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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