IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to sleep less than they did
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in the past, which has become a growing concern in modern society. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will examine factors responsible for the decline in sleeping hours and analyse their potential effect on both individuals and society. One of the main causes of
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
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 sleep deficiency is technology. Because they spend their time
to
Change preposition
apply
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scrolling social networks,
about
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apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 sleep time is shortened. The second cause that might be noted, in my view, is urban
lifestyle
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. Exactly
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 urban
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 causes
people
Use synonyms
 to sleep less
due to
Linking Words
 busy schedules and constant distractions. The first cause mentioned
above
Punctuation problem
above,
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 southeast dependence on technology, namely on social
networks
Punctuation problem
networks,
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 has led to poor academic performance
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and workplace inefficiency. Another problem that follows is that urban
lifestyle
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 often forces
people
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 to stay awake longer
due to
Linking Words
 work, commuting, and entertainment options. Having weighed everything mentioned
up
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apply
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, we can come to a conclusion that the lack of sleep nowadays is mainly caused by the excessive use of social media, modern technologies, and the demanding urban
lifestyle
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.
People
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 spend countless hours on their phones, browsing the Internet, watching videos, or chatting online, which significantly reduces their sleeping time.
In addition
Linking Words
, fast-paced city life, stressful work schedules, and constant noise prevent individuals from resting properly.
As a result
Linking Words
, their physical and mental health suffers. If
this
Linking Words
 trend continues, society may face increasing health issues and lower productivity in future.

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Structure
Use one clear idea in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence that states the main point.
Content
Explain each point with a simple example or fact. Link it to how sleep loss affects health or work.
Grammar
Check grammar and spellings. Use correct phrases like 'sleep less' and 'spend time scrolling' and keep verb forms right.
Organization
Essay has a clear plan with an introduction, two body ideas, and a conclusion.
Purpose
The writer states the topic and keeps to it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sleep
  • sleep less
  • sleep more
  • reason
  • cause
  • effect
  • impact
  • tired
  • tiredness
  • energy
  • focus
  • memory
  • health
  • stress
  • worry
  • anxiety
  • habit
  • routine
  • sleep pattern
  • night
  • day
  • light
  • dark
  • noise
  • screen
  • phone
  • computer
  • coffee
  • tea
  • alcohol
  • schedule
  • sleep quality
  • bed
  • rest
  • nap
  • short nap
  • safety
  • accident
  • driving
  • daylight
  • sun
  • exercise
  • home
  • family
  • work
  • study
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