There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
day and age, it is a common belief that all academic success leads to a more perspective future, which inevitably creates a lot of pressure for
children
Use synonyms
at school.
Due to
Linking Words
that fact, numerous adults are convinced that it is worth removing non-academic
subjects
Use synonyms
from students' schedules in order to help them pay more attention to academic ones. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will argue that because of the extra stress pupils experience caused by high expectations of their academic performance, not only
such
Linking Words
subjects
Use synonyms
as art or physical education would be helpful to release tension, but
also
Linking Words
to find a passion for those who choose to pursue a more creative or active career. Turning to the constant pressure and comparison
children
Use synonyms
face at school, it might be an additional motivation for some,
while
Linking Words
for others it would have the opposite effect.
Besides
Linking Words
it is a well-known fact that permanent tension decreases
overall
Linking Words
academic performance as it leads to an exhaustion of the nervous system.
That is
Linking Words
why non-academic
subjects
Use synonyms
are important, they create an environment in which
children
Use synonyms
could take a break and restore their power. There are studies which show that taking a pause to do some physical activity during learning helps to be concentrated afterwards. Other than that there are individuals who tend to express themself more freely as they are more creative and simply learning science or math is not for them as their straight might be sports activities or art. So there is a question, how would those categories of students improve their skills if those
subjects
Use synonyms
were excluded from the syllabus?
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these
subjects
Use synonyms
help develop
such
Linking Words
-known soft skills,
such
Linking Words
as being a team player, communication and problem-solving without which it is almost impossible to become a succusses full person. On balance, non-academic
subjects
Use synonyms
are as much important as academic ones, and could not be removed from the syllabus
due to
Linking Words
the fact that they help
children
Use synonyms
to release street and
as a result
Linking Words
be more concentrated,
moreover
Linking Words
, they are beneficial for
children
Use synonyms
who want to build a more creative career.
Submitted by mar.chopyk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: