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Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that developments involving the internet have brought people closer together while others think that people and communities more isolated .discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some humankind think that developments like the
internet
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 have made them
more
Change the word
apply
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nearer together, but
some other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 consider that the
internet
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 causes isolation between
people
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 and communities. In our
essay
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,essay
show examples
 we discuss both these points of view, and I believe that the
internet
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help
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helps
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 a
lot
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 of
people
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 to become closer, so our world
have
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has
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 become one village. At the outset, the
internet
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 has some disadvantages, which could affect negatively
on
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apply
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the relation and
connection
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connections
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 between
people
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 in our society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when
people
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 spend a
lot
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 of time online, it reduces the direct contact and
deal
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deals
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 with the
people
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 in our immediate surroundings.
Secondly
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, real home
visiting
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visits
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 between relatives and friends
also
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decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
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, because they communicate via social networking platforms.
Thirdly
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 ,if social media platforms
is
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are
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 used to transfer false information and malicious
gossips
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gossip
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, it will
creates
Wrong verb form
create
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 a
lot
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 of problems between
people
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, so it has some negative effects, but we have to do our best to avoid it. In my opinion , I strongly recommend using the
internet
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, as it introduces a
lot
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 of benefits to our world, and
the
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apply
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most important
one
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apply
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, it makes
people
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 closer together.
for example
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, social media platforms,
such
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 as
Whats
Correct your spelling
What's
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 Up,
Face Book
Correct your spelling
FaceBook
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, and other applications
enables
Correct subject-verb agreement
enable
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 humankind to make affordable or free voices and videos between friends, relatives and colleagues.
In addition
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 to that, it helps us to search
on line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
 and find long-lost friends.
Moreover
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, we can easily recognize
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 who have similar interests,
therefore
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, we can share knowledge and thoughts where we are at the same moment.so, we have to focus more on advantages than disadvantages.
To conclude
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that
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apply
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, even though
,
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apply
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 the
internet
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 has some drawbacks which mainly make
people
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 away from each other, I strongly believe that it makes
people
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more
Change the word
apply
show examples
closer
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
internet
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 applications are used in the proper way.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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