IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

We can access information from the internet easily. Some people say that libraries are no longer necessary. To what extent do you agree?

It has been argued that the Internet is the perfect tool to replace
libraries
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.
Moreover
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, I completely agree with
this
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 statement.
This
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 essay will provide evidence to support my opinion. The biggest factor that can replace
libraries
Use synonyms
 is searching through websites.
Also
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, there are many reasons why they can easily replace
libraries
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. Primarily, there are many websites that provide various types of information.
This
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 proves
this
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 method is well organised and easy to use.
Second,
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they can be accessed quickly.
Also
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, users can follow the websites and keep up with their latest updates or news if any additional changes happen. They can do that by turning on the notifications on their devices. The second biggest factor why the internet is capable of replacing physical books is searching through AI tools.
That is
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 because the user doesn't have to do the searching, and the tool does it for them.
Moreover
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, people like it because all they have to do is provide the tool with a prompt, and it does the work for them.
In addition
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, it can explain subjects in different ways that suit the consumer.
For example
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, I have a friend who suffers from Down syndrome, and he can't understand day-to-day topics unless they are explained in a special way.
Therefore
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, AI is perfect for them because it explains these topics in a suitable way. In conclusion, it is expected to see a decrease in the number of
libraries
Use synonyms
 in the world because of the creation of the internet.
In addition
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, there are a large number of reasons that we notice daily.

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task response
Give a more full answer to the question. You say you fully agree, but you do not talk about why some people still need libraries.
task response
Add one clear example about study, books, or local libraries. This will make your ideas stronger and more real.
task response
Explain your main points more. Some ideas are short, so the reader wants more detail about how the internet can do the same job as libraries.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. To make it better, link each main idea more smoothly to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines repeat the same idea, like saying websites are easy and quick. Try to avoid repeating and add new support instead.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your plan more easily.
task response
You answer the topic directly and give your opinion from the start.
task response
You use one personal example to support your point about AI.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are grouped in the right paragraph, so the essay is easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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