IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Grants invested in space research have created extensive advantages for humans,
however
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, some argued that it could have brought more benefits if it had been used more effectively. Personally, I agree with the second idea that the benefits would be much wider if the
money
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 had been allocated effectively.
Firstly
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, with successful discoveries in space, humans are able to open their knowledge scopes about the universe.
In particular
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, years ago when
people
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 started to discover the moon after the astronaut had his first step on the moon and returned back to Earth, it inspired a huge number of
people
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as well as
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 it was an extensive discovery for humans. After that, more resources and information about space are available for young
people
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 and adults to continue contributing to the
science
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 industry.
Secondly
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, it
also
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 encourages more
people
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 to pursue sciences. Many
people
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 do believe that it is impossible to prove anything or discover new things in
science
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,
money
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 is a tool to shorten the researching and discovering time, as more things are found,
people
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 will have more motivation to step participate in the
science
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 industry.
However
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, there are many other worthy projects to invest in that can
also
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 benefit mankind.
For instance
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, investing in public transport can help
people
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 to save a lot of
money
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 every month as transportation normally takes 30% of a person’s income. If businesses and the government spend
money
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 on those public projects
then
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people
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 can benefit from it.
Overall
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, investing in
science
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 projects can help to broaden
people
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’s mind about the universe and motivates them to participate in
science
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. On the other side, the opportunity cost is
also
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 huge.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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