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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
Some people argue that wages should not be paid for teenage workers who spend their free time on
work
 in the
community
 so that can lead to some beneficial skills to teenagers and
also
 good to the
community
. In my opinion,
This
 can not be acceptable for youngsters who attempt to live on their own.
This
 essay partially
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
 with
this
 topic and will discuss both views On the one hand, It can reduce
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 expenditure of
community
 organization
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 works for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 without paid
as well as
 it
also
 can contribute youngsters to
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
 essential skill and social skill which could help them to grow up effectively and can face
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 real world.
For example
, some
community
 group
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
works for a charity and give all money they earn to a donation for stray dogs.
This
 can be seen as a positive
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
community
, teenagers
as well as
 dogs.
On the other hand
,
while
 it can be a positive aspect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 teenagers, it
also
 can exhaust them in case it is hard
work
 or some
work
 that requires them to use their force.
Besides
, youngsters can be distracted from their classes by
this
work
 and they would think that it is not worth participating in public
work
.
To conclude
, It could depend on how hard they have to
work
 and
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
both views could have beneficial positive effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 young people and even
community
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
.
Submitted by tpawrn on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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