People believe that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that those who contribute to society like scientists, teacher are the most successful. Discuss both and give your opinion?

Due to
the competitive world that praises rich
people
as the most successful. Money plays an essential role in human lives, making
people
take their careers more seriously to earn more money.
However
, some believe that
people
who dedicate their time to
society
such
as
scientists
and
teachers
succeed.
This
essay will discuss both perspectives and provide an opinion.
To begin
with, there are many careers that receive lots of money
such
as entrepreneurs and professional athletes. There are many entrepreneurs that create high-technology innovations for individuals to use
such
as mobile-phone, tablets, and cars. Profit organizations always create new innovations but with high profit and excellent quality for customers to purchase.
In addition
, professional athletes
also
entertain
society
to watch sports
such
as Football World Cup which make
people
enjoy sports.
On the other hand
, some believe that jobs that contribute to
society
are the most successful.
Furthermore
,
teachers
contribute education of the younger generation, which makes them a better quality of their life, and
teachers
are
also
the main part of students' success.
Additionally
,
Scientists
contribute to
people
's health care and
also
take care of our planet. Releasing greenhouse gases is slightly increasing every year,
Scientists
are the ones who look behind and try to reduce the gases.
Thus
,
Teachers
and
Scientists
are necessary jobs that need the younger generation to continue.
To conclude
, different person has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different dream, some want to grow up to be
people
who play an essential role and contribute to a better
society
,
while
some want to do business. Personally, I believe that every job has its roles.
Submitted by natthataphon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!