IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jams #measures #governments #people #cars
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For the first century or so of the industrial revolution, certification is an essential part that makes up more than 80% of the division of classes and living conditions. Because of that reason lead to individuals who did not possess certification or did not possess enough experience to be unemployed.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 share the same thought that there is no balanced in life
due to
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 the fact that some
people
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 work overtime and earn more money
while
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 some
people
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 be jobless.
However
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, I strongly disagree for the following reasons.
Firstly
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,
people
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 who graduated deserved a
job
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due to
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 the fact that certification not only shows how hard studying a person is but
also
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 shows their ability.
Besides
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 the talented and hard-working personnel, there are
also
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 lazy persons who want to have a
job
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 without effort. The survey by the Vietnamese government found that about 30% of adults avoid finding a
job
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( even though 10% of them are graduated) for an individual problem.
Secondly
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, enterprises are shrinking
in addition
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 to personnel. The survey by economist Juliet B. Schor of Harvard University,” Since 1979 companies have responded to improvements in the business climate by having employees work overtime rather than by hiring extra personnel”. That leads to the consequence is numerous unemployed persons.
That is
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 the reason some
people
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 think that there is no balanced in life. In conclusion, employers should estimate the additional personnel to give credit to underemployed and jobless
people
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 to ensure that they do not overlook talented individuals and secure equal opportunities for everyone.
Besides
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 that
people
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 who are out of a
job
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 should update their skills and
strive-hard
Correct your spelling
strive hard
show examples
 in finding a
job
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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