The increasing number of individual vehicles has been a difficult issue in every country for some time. Simultaneously, using one's car in traffic causes many drawbacks to our lives. Therefore, I will elaborate on it in the following paragraphs.
The increasing number of individual vehicles has been a difficult issue in every country for some time. Simultaneously, using one's car in traffic causes many drawbacks to our lives.
Therefore
, I will elaborate on it in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, the most recently mentioned object about using cars
is evironmental
degradation. Correct your spelling
environmental
According to
some research, a large amount of carbon dioxide is emitted by gas-using machines such
as motorbikes, cars
, aeroplanes, yachts, etc; and carbon dioxide is a vital reason for environmental pollution. This
results in the greenhouse effect, soil contamination, acid rain, climate change, and many other troubles, which affect our well-being. We should be the ones who are responsible for this
situation.
Secondly
, we are fortunate to be aware of those problems and we can deliver some solutions to decrease the number of private cars
. These can be mentioned as using public transportation, government regulations about taxes on assets' possessions and improving transportation system planning. For example
, if you go to school by car, and everyone does, there will be 100 cars
on the street; however
, if you travel by bus, and another 100 people do the same, there will only be 2 buses on the street, thus
, this
will save more space for other necessary vehicles such
as ambulances, firefighter trucks and police cars
. Moreover
, public vehicle usage can lead to an unpolluted environment, and less carbon dioxide will be emitted.
In conclusion, driving too many vehicles during traffic has been rising and has led to numerous problems. It is our responsibility to bring awareness to propagate to others to not only prevent environmental issues but also
protect the next generations.Submitted by beautytear13 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well, and you provide relevant points and examples. However, there are instances where further details could enhance your argument, particularly in discussing government regulations and the impact of public transportation. Try to elaborate more on the solutions and their potential effects.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure and logical progression, occasionally, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother. For instance, when shifting from environmental degradation to solutions, use more linking phrases to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed, effectively setting the stage for your discussion and summarizing the key points.
coherence cohesion
You present a logical structure throughout your essay, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the issue.
task achievement
The examples you provide, such as the comparison between private cars and buses, are pertinent and help to illustrate your points clearly.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...