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Band 4.5

many people think it is very important to protect environment but they make no effect to do it themselves. why does it happen? what actions should individauls take to protect the environment?

#people #environment #effect #actions #individauls
Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming has become more serious today, everyone agrees that protecting the
environment
 is our priority.
However
, individuals have a tendency to make little effort, because they regard their movements are slightly beneficial for the earth.
Although
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 awareness has risen in the community nowadays, we know there are plenty of harmful effects if we do not care enough about the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
,
such
 as
disappearing
Correct article usage
the disappearing
show examples
 of rainforests can
led
Change the verb form
lead
be led
show examples
 to unnormal rainfall and global warming can
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 Arctic ice melting, which is the important part of monitoring the temperature, as it can reflect the sunlight.
Nonetheless
, people tend to feel powerless
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
such
 situations. They think their
actions
 have negligible impact on Earth, but these
actions
 would make
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 lives become uncomfortable and inconvenient.
Although
 I agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large entrepreneurs and factories impose the main proportion of negative problems on the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 rather than individuals, I still believe if we combine the effects of our daily
actions
 to protect the
environment
 together, there still can lead to dramatic changes. There are numerous
actions
 we can do to protect the
environment
 , so we do not have to do it extremely,
such
 as prohibiting ourselves to use air conditioners
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a hot day. We can just put simple
actions
 into daily life.
Fisrtly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, we can conserve energy by turning off the lights when
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 leave the room and switching
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
 electricity items before bed.
Secondly
, we can
redure
Correct your spelling
reduce
endure
 landfill by using reusable chopsticks, straws, spoons, and so on.
In addition
, we can choose biodegradable materials
instead
 of plastic ones. One little action seems
meaninglessness
Replace the word
meaningless
show examples
, but many
actions
 can really contribute to the
environment
. Despite troublesome, we should insist on it.
Submitted by zhangyongc83 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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