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Writing Samples
Band 5

dq qcSome people consider online study courses better than classroom studies, while others think classroom study is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is argued some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 is good for
students
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 others claim that
classroom
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 is more effective than online. In my mind
that
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 prefer
classroom
Use synonyms
attendance
Use synonyms
 to online in order to
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 with teachers and
students
Use synonyms
 when they discuss topics. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss why
pupils
Use synonyms
 should be
Use synonyms
classroom
Add an article
a classroom
show examples
 at the lesson and provide relevant examples from my experience. Presently, different types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technologies are developing over the world.
Thus
Linking Words
 numerous
students
Use synonyms
 educate
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
 educational organizations in order to learn subjects with
rhe
Correct your spelling
the
 development
technological
Change preposition
of technological
show examples
techlgadgets
Correct your spelling
tech gadgets
.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
 can
study
Use synonyms
 online with the help of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
 without
classroom
Use synonyms
attendance
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
somes
Correct your spelling
some
 prefer online courses to
classroom
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 it does not impact effectively.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 some of the
students
Use synonyms
 may learn their subjects well . Many individuals believe that
classroom
Use synonyms
attendance
Use synonyms
 is more effective than online.
Pupils
Use synonyms
 should be
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
classroom
Use synonyms
 during the lessons. Indeed, if
pupils
Use synonyms
 attend the course they can ask for help
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their teachers because they are
Use synonyms
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 with the tutors.
For example
Linking Words
, during
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
show examples
 years majority of the young
people
Use synonyms
 need to
study
Use synonyms
 online. Most of them do not participate
online
Change preposition
in online
show examples
 courses.
In other words
Linking Words
, if they are at the lessons with the teachers they are responsible for their actions.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 the lessons are interesting to
pupils
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
classroom
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 helps young
people
Use synonyms
 to improve their knowledge. In conclusion, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think that online courses are good for their youngsters.
While
Linking Words
 others believe that
classroom
Use synonyms
attendance
Use synonyms
 is more important than online. I side with the second idea is more effective for
students
Use synonyms
. I have tried to answer correctly and provided relevant examples to the question.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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