IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter, describe the problem with the equipment explain how this problem is affecting your work say what you want the shop or company to do Write at least 150 words.

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that, the keyboard of the computer that I have been using for one year, is not working properly, so I request you to replace
this
 item with a new one. Because of the long usage of
this
 board, some of the keys on it become loose and
also
, I am not able to the read alphabet on some of the keys which affects my performance. Because of invisible keys, I take more time to write reports or emails and to do some productive
work
, which makes me delay the completion of the
work
 and sometimes, I am not able to complete my
work
 in time . So, for the betterment of my
work
 and to get my task done before the deadline, please supply me with the requested equipment as soon as possible. Looking forward to hearing from you. Your Faithfully, Ankit
Submitted by ap064911 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical structure by ensuring all ideas are clearly laid out and that paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
It's important to have a clear single idea per paragraph—consider splitting up the information into more distinct sections.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and enhance the tone of the letter.
task achievement
The letter clearly addresses the three required points: describing the problem, explaining how it affects work, and stating what is needed from the company.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is suitable for this type of correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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