Some people think that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people's life and, therefore, government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #music #life #government #money

Arts

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are

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used as one of the methods to convey the characteristics of nations, including statues, paintings and buildings.

While

some criticise

regarding

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apply

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fewer contributions derived from

such

behaviours, I strongly agree with the necessity of trading in money for the perks of diversity in different countries.

To begin

with, the opponents question

about

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apply

show examples

the meaning of financially

support

Wrong verb form

supporting

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arts

activities,

such

as holding music concerts ; building national art

gallaries

Correct your spelling

galleries

; and promoting local iconic images, based on various negative impacts

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show examples

local societies.

For example

, the Jazz concert held in Taichung, Taiwan, annually is alleged

for

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show examples

deteriorating noise pollution and the increase of waste

due to

a large number of visitors.

On the other hand

, I am in favour of supporting

arts

in different aspects, since it leads to various advantages. First of all, paintings could display essential events,

as well as

elucidate a historical story, which cultivates descendants who know better about history. Take Taiwan

national

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National

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Museum as an example, visitors could learn how ancestors

life

Replace the word

lived

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their

live

Replace the word

lives

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in the past.

Secondly

arts

could enable cities with unique symbols,not only can it spreads their

spiriture

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spiritual

but contributes to an increase of commercial revenues. Take the statue of Merlion in Singapore as an example it conveys the

fareless

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fearless

faceless

careless

spiriture

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spiritual

along with

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

, geography feature.

Moreover

, thousands and millions of tourists are attracted by

such

unique

design

Fix the agreement mistake

designs

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, which

stimulites

Correct your spelling

stimulates

local

hospitatily

Correct your spelling

hospitality

industry To summarise, it is inevitable that funding

arts

could

provokes

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provoke

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many disadvantages

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for

show examples

socieities

Correct your spelling

societies

and

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

environment.

However

, I strongly believe that it is crucial for countries

develop

Fix the infinitive

to develop

show examples

arts

since it could enhance the understanding of a nation, on top of that, attracting more

foreingers aroudn

Correct your spelling

foreigners around

the world and benefit residents.

Submitted by unapoya0916 on Thu May 25 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people's life and, therefore, government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

the rise of the social media has a affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communicatton outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Student learn far more with their teachers than other sources (the Internet or television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that government is wasting government is waisting money on arts and that money could be spent elsewhere. Do you agree or disagree.