IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

All large companies should provide sports facility and social gathering place for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #facility #place #communities
These days. corporate social
responsibility
such
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
public space for
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 around the big enterprises to do some exercise and gather around is
debateable
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debatable
.
Althought
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Although
 some
corporation
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corporations
show examples
 choose to
giving
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give
show examples
money
donation
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donations
show examples
 as their preference for corporate social
responsibility
, some others believe
that is
much
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
 more effective way to provide public space for domestic people around the
corporation
. In
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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i
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I
show examples
 will
discuse
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discuss
 why
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public facilities is far more effective than
other form
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another form
other forms
show examples
 of corporate social
resposibility
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responsibility
.
On
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One
show examples
 of the biggest disadvantages
corporation
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of corporation
show examples
 which
prefer
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prefers
show examples
 to do
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
show examples
 with
money
 to do their corporate social
responsibility
that is
 the lack of
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 benefit for the local
society
,
due to
money
 could be spent
into
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on
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 any things that
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 necessary.
For example
,
Add an article
a corporation
the corporation
show examples
corporation
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corporations
show examples
 only gave
money
 to
low-middle
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the low-middle
show examples
 class to live their
live
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lives
show examples
 for only
few
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a few
show examples
 days. In another hand, if the
corporation
build
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builds
show examples
 some public facilities that have a lot of benefit for
the
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apply
show examples
society
 could give
a long term benefits
Correct the article-noun agreement
long term benefits
a long term benefit
show examples
.
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public facilities
such
 as
Add an article
a garden
show examples
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
 with
sport
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sports
show examples
 equipment could maintain
people
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people's
show examples
 health and social
live
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life
show examples
 there
for
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apply
show examples
the
corporation
 will be always remembered by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 because of their role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 that have a huge impact. In conclusion, every
corporation
have
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has
show examples
 its own
prefrences
Correct your spelling
preferences
 to do
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
corporat
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corporate
 social
responsibility
 which should be
impactfull
Correct your spelling
impactful
 for people in their
society
.
This
 could be done by Corporate being more aware of
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 public space and
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Community welfare
  • Social cohesion
  • Brand image
  • Goodwill
  • Feasible
  • Financial constraints
  • Local government
  • Networking
  • Productive activities
  • Social amenities
  • Foster
  • Civic engagement
What to do next:
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