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Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #time #activities #children #parents
Childhood is a crucial period for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy improvement as a person.
Therefore
 adults are always worried about
this
 phase, trying to figure out the best environment for kids.
This
 way, some people believe that
children
 should be free to choose what they will do
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their spare
time
whereas
 others find that parents should define
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activities
.
This
 essay will discuss each one of the
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
 and
further
, agree with one point. Creating something to do
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own is not
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 easy as imagined, because it requires creativity, so letting
children
 by themselves free to choose their
activities
instead
 of stipulating what they should do, stimulates kid’s
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 and activeness.
This
 might
the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
 reason to defend
this
 position.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 organizing the schedule of
children
’s free
time
 could
also
 be helpful in order to avoid doing the same thing all the
time
 or even doing nothing during
this
 period of hours. So, people that defend
this
 attitude might find
important
Correct pronoun usage
it important
show examples
 to encourage kids to find out new
activities
 and to stimulate them
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
 something interesting all the
time
. I believe that
this
 kind of guidance is a big advantage to optimize
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
time
, even though it is their
free-
Correct your spelling
free time
show examples
time
. Because some sort of
time
 boundaries could be essential for those human beings that do not have
time
 notion yet. In conclusion in order to stimulate creativity it is
also
 important to give
children
 some freedom to choose their own
activities
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their spare
time
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 in
this
 phase of
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 it is still more valuable to give
children
 some guidance
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
free-
Correct your spelling
free time
show examples
time
 so they experience new things and utilize their
time
 the best way as possible.
Submitted by licapark on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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