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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #time #activities #children #parents
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Childhood is a crucial period for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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healthy improvement as a person.
Therefore
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 adults are always worried about
this
Linking Words
 phase, trying to figure out the best environment for kids.
This
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 way, some people believe that
children
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 should be free to choose what they will do
on
Change preposition
in
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 their spare
time
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whereas
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 others find that parents should define
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children
Change noun form
children's
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activities
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.
This
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 essay will discuss each one of the
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
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 and
further
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, agree with one point. Creating something to do
by
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on
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 their own is not
that
Correct word choice
as
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 easy as imagined, because it requires creativity, so letting
children
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 by themselves free to choose their
activities
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instead
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 of stipulating what they should do, stimulates kid’s
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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 and activeness.
This
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 might
the
Add a missing verb
be the
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 reason to defend
this
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 position.
On the other
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hand
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,hand
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 organizing the schedule of
children
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’s free
time
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 could
also
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 be helpful in order to avoid doing the same thing all the
time
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 or even doing nothing during
this
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 period of hours. So, people that defend
this
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 attitude might find
important
Correct pronoun usage
it important
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 to encourage kids to find out new
activities
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 and to stimulate them
doing
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to do
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 something interesting all the
time
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. I believe that
this
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 kind of guidance is a big advantage to optimize
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children
Change noun form
children's
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time
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, even though it is their
free-
Correct your spelling
free time
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time
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. Because some sort of
time
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 boundaries could be essential for those human beings that do not have
time
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 notion yet. In conclusion in order to stimulate creativity it is
also
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 important to give
children
Use synonyms
 some freedom to choose their own
activities
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on
Change preposition
in
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 their spare
time
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 in
this
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 phase of
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 it is still more valuable to give
children
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 some guidance
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
free-
Correct your spelling
free time
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time
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 so they experience new things and utilize their
time
Use synonyms
 the best way as possible.
Submitted by licapark on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: