Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

While

money is considered by some to be very important to be happy, others believe that it isn't. I am of the opinion that as much as you need bills for basic needs that could provide comfort and

as a result

happiness, it isn't all you need.

Firstly

, with access to funds, humans can afford the best healthcare in the world. Health is necessary as a sick man cannot boast of being happy.

For instance

, if a person got diagnosed with a brain tumour, they would realise that being wealthy provides the means to get healthy, which in turn makes the person happy.

Furthermore

, having a check provides a means to eat a balanced, healthy diet. A person without a source of financial resources has no way of affording the necessary nutrient the body needs. As the popular saying goes: 'a hungry man is an angry man', when someone is hungry, there is no room for happiness.

Nevertheless

, in as much as wealth is essential, it is not the only factor that contributes to an elated case. Peace of mind is

also

a determinant. Being in a place of contentment and peace provides your body with hormones that could increase your state.

Also

, being of help and providing assistance to people in need can

also

improve one's general well-being and mental state. In conclusion,

although

cash is important, it should not be considered the only route to happiness. Contentment, peace and being of help to the less privileged are

also

essential. I believe that

while

we seek ways to get funds, we should

also

consider balancing it out with social skills and projects that promote humanity.

Submitted by philipbay20 on Thu May 25 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

276 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Fully explain your ideas

In today's world many people own a smartphone do you thinh advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people can buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year oﬀ between ﬁnishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be soent on improving living standards on Earth.

Q: Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?