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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that advertising is useful and informative while others believe it provides false information in order to increase the price of products and services. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is an irrefutable fact that marketing of products through advertisements plays a significant role in increasing companies’ sales.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that the promotional campaigns provide false details about the products and
services
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 to boost their value, others reject
this
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 notion and believe that advertising is useful for
product
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 awareness to the public. I totally agree with the latter view. Many
people
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 are of the view that the promotional events create demand for products and
services
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 by exaggerating their features, which eventually helps raise their selling
price
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 to the consumers. The promoters use cutting-edge technology to give their
product
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 a flashy look.
Additionally
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, they
also
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 hire a reputed celebrity to promote their brand to influence a sizeable population to make their
product
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 and
services
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 more valuable.
For example
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, when my friend launched his
drink
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 in the market, he could not sell much because he was not promoting it through any channel.
As a result
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,
people
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 treated it as a normal
drink
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 and avoided buying it.
On the other hand
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, when he started promoting his
drink
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 as the best hydration
drink
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 in the country, even though the
drink
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 was just a normal
drink
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 he hired a famous cricketer to create hype among
people
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, his sales figures drastically changed.
Thus
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, advertising has a profound impact on the
product
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 value in the market.
However
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, I believe that without ads, there is no way to receive the required
information
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 about what is available at shops. I take the side of the
people
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 who support the perspective that commercial ads offer the public the necessary
information
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 required for making their buying decision.
People
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 can easily prepare
the
Correct article usage
a
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 spending budget if they are provided with a
price
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 estimation of relevant consumer goods and
services
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.
Moreover
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, in order to select the best suitable
product
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, they cannot afford to visit every store to inquire about the
price
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 and features of an item they need at home.
Thus
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, offering all the
information
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such
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 as
price
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, feature, and warranty period through ads saves customers’ time, energy and money that they will spend
while
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 exploring it at different stores and locations.
For example
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, household women refer Television adds to check the weekly sales at grocery stores and
then
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 choose the best place to buy their groceries.
Therefore
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, the advertisements supply much-needed
information
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 for the public. In conclusion,
although
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people
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 strongly argue that promotional content gives manipulated
information
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 about items and facilities, I believe it offers vital and essential details.
This
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 is the reason that an individual refers to advertisements to make his or her decision before spending money on an item.

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task response
Give a more balanced view. Your first body part shows how ads can make a product seem better than it is, but you do not clearly say that this can give people false ideas. Add one clear sentence on this harm. Also, your own view is clear, but explain why useful ads are more important than false ads.
task response
Use examples that fully support the point. The drink example is clear, but it is long and shows both a problem and a good side. Make the false claim clearer: the drink was called the best, but it was only a normal drink. This would better support the first view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, first view, second view, and end. To make links better, use clear signposts such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In my view” at the start of key parts.
coherence cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. In the first body part, move the sentence about ads giving needed shop information to the next paragraph. It does not fit well with the point about false claims and higher prices.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are too long. Split them into two or three short sentences so the main idea is easier to follow. Also, avoid repeating “product”, “people”, and “information” too often when a simple other word can be used.
task response
You discuss both views and clearly give your own view in the start and end.
task response
Your second main point is useful and well explained: ads can help people know prices, features, and sales before they buy.
coherence cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow. Each body part has a main topic, an explanation, and an example.
coherence cohesion
You use some helpful link words, such as “Additionally”, “Moreover”, “For example”, “Thus”, and “Therefore”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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