IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #country #food #population #import
Different countries produce different
food
 items depending on factors including sunlight, soil, and rainfall.
While
 some
people
 suggest growing all the
food
 in their own country, many believe it is better to import it.
Although
 harvesting your own produce has its benefits, it is equally important to bring in
food
 from outside. Farming is one of the oldest and most important professions in the
world
 and the agriculture industry plays a significant role in the prosperity of a country. Refraining from trading
food
 enables farmers to thrive as much of the population buys locally sourced meat and vegetables.
In addition
, it lowers expenses since imported products cost a fortune. Surely,
this
 strengthens the argument for generating items within the nation.
Conversely
, farmers
also
 do well by exporting their crops across the globe. In fact, there is a huge demand and value for some foods that can only be cultivated in specific regions.
Secondly
, many
people
 have dietary restrictions
due to
 health and allergies,
while
 some just crave to explore various cuisines from different parts of the
world
. For these reasons, getting
food
 from around the
world
 is highly beneficial for a nation. With the advent of globalisation and social media,
people
 today, even from remote corners of the earth, are not only more connected than ever but
also
 aware of eating options everywhere.
While
 it has its advantages, it is slightly outdated to keep
people
 restricted to local produce. I believe every country should adapt to the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 of today's changing
world
 and start importing
food
 from other nations.
Submitted by sanu.das92 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your main points. For example, mention specific countries or regions where certain food items are primarily produced and why it is advantageous for them to export these goods.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next. Although your essay is well-structured, adding more linking words or phrases would enhance the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, restate your position more strongly to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument regarding local production and importation of food.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, providing a strong start and finish to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main point, contributing to the logical structure of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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