Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

#gyms #lifestyle #popularity #world

Nowadays, people are more likely to choose immobile

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

, in spite of the growing number of gyms.

This

may lead

several

Change preposition

to several

show examples

issues which I will discuss below

coupled with

my opined solutions. First of all,

problems

led by

this

lifestyle

can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

obviously be seen in

health

problems

such

as obesity and heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

. Being

Change the article

apply

show examples

sedentary means you have

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

physicial

Correct your spelling

physical

activities so that it would lead to the minimum consumption of our energy. If it happens to our body, the energy will be altered to be body fats affecting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our weight

increasement

Correct your spelling

increment

Secondly

, mental

health

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

will

also

be considered as an issue associated with

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

. Sitting in their place, their happiness would be decreased because they only produced less

endorpine

Correct your spelling

endorphin

endorphins

oxcitocine

Correct your spelling

oxytocin

hormones related to happiness.

This

will influence mental

health

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

like having stress

due to

inbalance

Correct article usage

an inbalance

show examples

lifestyle

as overwhelming

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

Coupled with

the

exessive

Correct your spelling

excessive

show examples

use of

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

or social media

due to

the sedentary life, it will

also

increase the mental

health

problems

potential. Turning to possible solutions, I suggest

cangging

Correct your spelling

changing

hanging

the

habit

will be the best way. We have to make exercise

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our new

habit

. We can take our time in the morning for doing

physicial

Correct your spelling

physical

activities

such

as walking

along

Change preposition

around

show examples

our house and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

jogging. Making an exciting ambience to do

such

a new

habit

will

also

helpful

Replace the word

help

show examples

to increase our motivation. As experienced by my family, we created a

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

sport

Change the verb form

sporting

show examples

culture by walking together every morning and trying to motivate each other.

Also

, we can decrease our engagement with online social media

with

Change preposition

show examples

creating

off-line

Correct your spelling

offline

show examples

communities which able to encourage us to have

physicial

Correct your spelling

physical

stimulations

Fix the agreement mistake

stimulation

show examples

For example

, community outdoor who have similar hobbies with us or

sport

-related communities. As can be seen in Indonesia's public

figure

Fix the agreement mistake

figures

show examples

, they have been

giving

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

a role model to do some

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

. They gave instances to did some

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

competitions like

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

tennis

sport

and football.

To sum up

, many

problems

have been posited

resulted

Replace the word

result

show examples

Change preposition

from

show examples

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

Accordingly

, the best alternative to overcome

this

Change the determiner

this problem

these problems

show examples

problems

is by changing

lifestyle

Correct pronoun usage

your lifestyle

show examples

to be more friendly with exercising,

doing

Correct word choice

and doing

show examples

pysicial activites untill

Correct your spelling

physical activities until

having communities which can support sports

in particular

Submitted by rams212 on Fri May 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

366 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
physical inactivity
health problems
weight gain
obesity
energy levels
chronic illnesses
mental health
productivity
focus
social isolation
exercise
physical fitness
active lifestyle
health benefits
physical health
mental well-being
leisure activities
regular physical activity
physical exercise
cardiovascular health
strength training
flexibility
endurance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays there are four or five subjects to learn in schools to students. Within these subjects, there are some very important subjects such as Science and Technology. Most people say studying Science and Technology is more important than studying History. In my opinion, i say that getting the knowledge of Science and Technology is more important than getting the knowledge of History.
7
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The essence of scientific inquiry lies in its potential to bring about positive changes in the lives of individuals and societies. A fundamental tenet of science is its commitment to unravelling the mysteries of the world and applying this knowledge for the betterment of humanity. I believe this involves focusing on various facets that directly influence the human experience, such as health, well-being, and overall quality of life.
6
band
Write your personal statement. Is there a problem.
We also live in a society where relationships are delicate between parents and teachers. Parents expect higher quality education and that is their right. However, in Korea, there is a major issue in which parents make consistent demands and claim false reports. This year, one teacher was reported for the child abuse because she used a lion character picture for the class. This caused her to suicide. This was not a one-off case, there were many suicides due to the overwhelming demands from parents. As educators, we have to suffer as the laws do not protect educators from these situations. In fact, I was almost stabbed by a student that had an anger disorder. However, I couldn’t do anything due to the fear of losing my job if I touched the student. It is clear that new policies will need to be adopted and I wish to help write them.
5
band
Some cities create new housing for their growing populations by constructing a smaller number of high-rise buildings. Other cities create more of low-rise buildings. Which solution is better, in your opinion?
With the growing population, many cities are experiencing less space available for residents and therefore creating high-rise buildings, while some cities still prefer the traditional accommodation system such as low rise or individual houses. I believe the floor size is completely determined by the population density and preferences of residents, which we will further discuss in detail in the following paragraphs.
6.5
band
Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Green field have always been part of a human’s habitat/environment. There are people who think that it is essential to plant trees in empty land in cities. This essay will discuss the importance of the existence of trees in rural areas as well as cities.

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write your personal statement. Is there a problem.

Some cities create new housing for their growing populations by constructing a smaller number of high-rise buildings. Other cities create more of low-rise buildings. Which solution is better, in your opinion?

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?