In many countries, as people are earning more these days, they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In
this
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contemporary epoch, it is more and more common that as soon as individuals' incomes grow, their spending
also
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will rise semuleteniously. The following essay will aim at outlining some relevant facts its positive development
as well as
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a minor negative one
To begin
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with, let's get started with the pros, one of the predominant reasons some types of society feel better as long as they purchase some new item. To elaborate, folk when buying new stuff which they need, their life will ease. It doesn't matter whether it is cloth or some technical device.
For example
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, if someone's car is old-fashioned or unfunctional and he can afford a new one, he will feel much happier and his daily life
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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less stressful after he purchases a new car.
Furthermore
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,
this
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trend is
also
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extremely beneficial for countries' economies.
In other words
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,
this
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area's economy mainly depends on its citizens since any spending people
was
Verb problem
have
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done in order to buy something, the government has a share. As an example, developed countries' nations tend to earn a huge salary, but their expenditure is
also
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big which is helpful for
this
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area.
As a result
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, it is a huge circle
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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may favour both humans and the country.
However
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, any coin has two sides
as well as
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the aforementioned development. First of all, with
this
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,trend there will exceedingly rise in consumption of the population. In detail, individuals will be addicted to overconsumption, even if they don't mesentery, and
this
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is phenomenal pollution for the environment.
For instance
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, in Europe, capita tends to throw away an average of 15 kilos of fibre annually, and only Europe's pollution of the environment is in second place after the US. So overconsumption is a huge disaster for both mankind and nature.
To conclude
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, there were cited relevant facts about the pros and cons of
highlighted
Correct article usage
the highlighted
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trend, but
i
Change the capitalization
I
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personally believe that any development has two sides, considering
this
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fact, if people want to spend their money, they should consider both sides, as taking care environment is in the first place

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coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas clearly with better linking phrases. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Provide stronger specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing.
language
Make sure to check for spelling and grammar errors. This will make your writing clearer.
content
You have a clear understanding of the topic and present valid points about both sides.
content
You include some relevant examples to support your ideas, which is a good practice.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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