IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many students choose to study abroad at university level. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

#students #study #university #level #idea
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All adults like to
study
 in another
country
.Because studying abroad may be
one
 of the most beneficial experiences.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 some parents worry about their children and do not allow them to
study
 abroad. I believe that studying abroad has more positive sides than learning another culture and another
experience
. On the
one
 hand, studying abroad has pros and cons which influence
students
’
experience
 and their
country
.The first advantage is that if some
students
study
 abroad , learn a lot of knowledge which contributes to the development of science.
For example
, In previous years medicine didn’t grow .Nowadays all
students
 who studied abroad and have a lot of qualifications can develop science. The biggest reason you should consider a
study
 abroad program is the opportunity to see the world . By studying abroad, you will
experience
 a brand-new
country
 with incredible new outlooks, customs and activities. The benefits of studying abroad include the opportunity to see new terrains, natural wonders, museums and landmarks of your host nation.
In addition
, when you’re abroad, you won’t be limited to travelling in just the nation in which you are studying – you can see neighbouring countries as well!
For example
, if you
study
 in France, you’ll have the option to travel through various parts of Europe including London , Barcelona , and Rome. Many
students
 who choose to
study
 abroad are leaving their homes for the first time. When they arrive in their new host
country
, they are fascinated by the distinct cultural perspectives. When you
study
 abroad you will find incredible new foods, customs, traditions, and social atmospheres.You will find that you have a better understanding and appreciation for the nation’s people and history. You will have the opportunity to witness a completely new way of life. If all
students
study
 abroad , they will have to pay a lot of money , not only to the parents but
also
 to the state.
Another
Change preposition
In another
show examples
country
, the cost of
one
 semester is very expensive.
For instance
, in America, housing prices range from $2,500 to $6,500 for
one
 semester .Another mandatory fee is food.
This
 is a type of mandatory payment,
such
 as housing.
This
also
 ranges from at least $440 to $ 2200 for
one
 semester.
One
 of the mandatory fees is books .Usually, its price depends on the course you choose.
For example
, you spend from $300 to 500 for
one
 semester’s books . I believe that studying abroad has more positive sides than learning another culture and another
experience
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Your introduction gives a good start but could benefit from more context and a clearer mention of the advantages and disadvantages to better frame the essay. Consider elaborating a bit more on your position in the introduction.
task achievement
The essay provides several relevant points but lacks balance. The advantages are more detailed and examples are provided, whereas the disadvantages are discussed briefly. Try to give equal attention to both sides to present a well-rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your points follow a logical progression throughout the essay. This will help maintain reader engagement and clarity. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and all supporting details align with it.
coherence cohesion
Include clear transition phrases between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the essay. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You provide multiple examples to support your points, which adds depth and credibility to your arguments.
task achievement
Your conclusion reaffirms your position, which provides a sense of closure to the essay.
task achievement
You've made a good effort in discussing both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • career prospects
  • cultural exposure
  • global perspective
  • networking opportunities
  • personal growth
  • financial burden
  • tuition fees
  • living expenses
  • travel costs
  • homesickness
  • cultural shock
  • personal well-being
  • recognition of degrees
  • academic terminology
  • communication nuances
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