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Band 4.5

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live, such as Mars. To disagree with this statement?

#future #earth #people #money #planet
In current times when humans are discovering and inventing different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of technologies,they
also
 try to find somewhere else to live like Mars. Many people think that living on
plant
Correct your spelling
planet
show examples
eart
Correct your spelling
Earth
 will be more difficult in future, they want to move
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
planat
Correct your spelling
planet
planets
 like Mars. They
also
 said that government should
spent
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spend
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 more and more on researching
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
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 on other
palant
Correct your spelling
plant
plants
.
Well
Add the punctuation
,Well
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i
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I
show examples
 completely disagree with
this
 statement and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I’ll support my opinion with some reasons.
Firstly
, plant
earth
 is our
planat
Correct your spelling
planet
, we should priorities it
Fix the infinitive
to make
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make
Change the verb form
makes
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 it safe before investing
on
Change preposition
in
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 research on other
planat
Correct your spelling
planet
planets
.we only have one
Earth
 and it’s our responsibility to make it
sustainability
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sustainable
show examples
 for
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 coming generations.
Further more
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Furthermore
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, The idea of living on
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
planat
Correct your spelling
planet
planets
 seems
exiting
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exciting
show examples
 but it is not possible for everyone to move on it.
In addition
, living on Mars is very difficult because they’re several reasons, first one is, there is no water on Mars. Water is a very basic necessity for human king
livings
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living
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. Second is oxygen, humanity can not survive without oxygen and there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 no symptoms of air
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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found on Mars yet.
Instead
, we should focus on taking care of our
earth
 and investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 sustainable technologies and practices.
This
include
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includes
show examples
 renewable energy sources, reducing waste and natural habitats.
Moreover
, investing
on
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in
show examples
 sustainable technologies can create lots of jobs.
For example
, using Solar raise to create solar energy and wind technology has led to the growth of jobs
as well as
Correct article usage
a decrease
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decrease
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decreased
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 use of fossil fuels, which main reason
of
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for
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 pollution on
earth
.
Overall
, living on Mars is
a
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an
show examples
exiting
Correct your spelling
exciting
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 idea but it
also
have
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has
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a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of
diffulties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
. It will not a practical solution for many humans.
Besides
 that, we should try to
safe
Replace the word
save
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 our
planat
Correct your spelling
planet
plant
instead
 of
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
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 it and
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
 somewhere else.
This
 will ensure that our
earth
 will
sustainable
Add a missing verb
have sustainable
show examples
 habitats for coming generations.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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