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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #person #opportunity
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In today’s world, there is a great chase towards
money
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. Many
people
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 spend their entire life trying to accomplish financial security in order to provide themself with luxurious items.
While
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 others state the benefit of having
money
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 is being able to live a comfortable life, In my belief, the most important thing about being rich is having the privilege to help others. In
this
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 essay, I will
further
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 explain my opinion. Having rich
people
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 helping individuals can help with the world's
future
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 accomplishments. There are many children whose fortune is not in their favour, since their parents can't afford their kid’s education, they are not able to go to school and eventually have a promising job.
Consequently
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, there is a shortage of
future
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 doctors, lawyers and scientists, which is affecting the world’s
future
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 inventions in a negative way. Letting young children charity in order for them to receive knowledge will directly impact the globe's
future
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 developments in science, technology and more.
For example
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, in 2005, a rich Israeli businessman decided to donate
a
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to a
show examples
new school for poor children in Kenya, Africa. Thanks to the education that they received, Many students from that Kenyan school succeeded to apply to impressive universities, which eventually help them have successful careers and donate to
society
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the society
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.
Moreover
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, Having the opportunity to donate to others is beneficial for the local environment. Many
people
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 nowadays can't seem to find a job,
as a result
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, they find themselves living on the streets, creating a decrease in apartment prices next to homeless
people
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 living next to it. Getting donations from wealthy ones will not only help clean the streets and make the environment a better place but
also
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 upward the price of different homes throughout a certain country, making the country a wealthier place.
For instance
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, having a clean and safe neighbourhood free of homeless
people
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 is an important consideration before purchasing a house,
therefore
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 the price of a certain home is higher.
As a result
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, the country is gaining a greater amount of
money
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. In conclusion,
while
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 it is true that having a huge amount of
money
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 gives you the privilege of treating yourself and your loved ones, in my view, it is more important to spend
this
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money
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 on helping other
people
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 who need that help, based on the
future
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 developments and economical reasons.
Submitted by mayab2001 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
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