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Writing Samples
Band 7

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own countries or communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #countries #communities
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It is a subject of debate whether our focus should be on caring for our own nations and societies before extending
assistance
Use synonyms
 to those around the world in need. I strongly agree that we should prioritize helping our own society primarily
due to
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 the simplicity of managing
donations
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. One compelling reason to assist our nation first is the efficiency and ease of managing
such
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 aid.
For instance
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, when the devastating Palu tsunami struck in 2018, numerous
donations
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 flooded into the refugee camps within days, and dedicated volunteers were swiftly deployed to the affected areas.
As a result
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 of
this
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 prompt response, Palu was able to recover and rebuild within a mere week.
This
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 example underscores the wisdom in concentrating our efforts on aiding those within our own nation. Another key consideration is that supporting other parts of the world is not always the optimal choice. Not only does it consume considerable time, but
also
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 involves significant effort in organizing the distribution of
donations
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.
While
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 monetary contributions can be swiftly transferred via banking systems, ensuring that the intended recipients receive the
assistance
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 poses a challenge. In 2020, there were reports of
donations
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 to impoverished countries in Africa not being fully received
due to
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 the inadequate management of the donation programs.
Consequently
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, it is far more effective to channel
assistance
Use synonyms
 to our immediate surroundings. In conclusion,
while
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 providing aid to the vulnerable is an act of kindness, it is preferable to prioritize our own society rather than extending
assistance
Use synonyms
 to other global communities
due to
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 the convenience and manageability of
such
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 contributions. By focusing on our nation
first,
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we can respond swiftly and effectively to crises, and ensure that our
donations
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 reach the intended recipients.
Submitted by muholligan on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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