Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

When it comes to

technology

these days, it is more and more popular and used to track or monitor people.

Furthermore

, people don’t even know that they are being followed by another person. In my opinion, the

benefits

of using

technology

to monitor outweigh its drawbacks. On the one hand,

technology

offers people several

benefits

. For one, in industry, it is an indispensable part of the monitoring of product-making processes.

Furthermore

, it is

also

integrated into the machine and personal management systems.

Secondly

, the camera system is equipped on roads and deserted places to help police in crime investigation, from which the rates of crime can decline.

Thirdly

, in the family, it can be useful for monitoring their children

as well as

knowing what their children do when their parents are not at home.

Besides

, it is

also

a protective device for their home to avoid the entry of thieves.

On the other hand

, despite the

benefits

mentioned above, I believe that

technology

can

also

cause problems for individuals. Some hackers can access people’s data and information in order to get their money.

Therefore

, everyone could risk their personal data being stolen for another financial gain.

Besides

this

data could be sold to another party for business or political purposes.

In addition

, it can

also

be detrimental to a love affair. To sum it all up,

technology

has improved our lives and reduced the number of criminals. For me, I believe that the numerous

benefits

outweigh the few drawbacks.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Sat May 27 2023

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

‘The best way to educate children is by using the Internet in every lesson.’ To what extent do you share this opinion? What other ways are there of making lessons effective for children?

Topic: Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student. In this regard, peers have more of an impact than teachers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.