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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
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When it comes to
technology
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 these days, it is more and more popular and used to track or monitor people.
Furthermore
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, people don’t even know that they are being followed by another person. In my opinion, the
benefits
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 of using
technology
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 to monitor outweigh its drawbacks. On the one hand,
technology
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 offers people several
benefits
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. For one, in industry, it is an indispensable part of the monitoring of product-making processes.
Furthermore
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, it is
also
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 integrated into the machine and personal management systems.
Secondly
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, the camera system is equipped on roads and deserted places to help police in crime investigation, from which the rates of crime can decline.
Thirdly
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, in the family, it can be useful for monitoring their children
as well as
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 knowing what their children do when their parents are not at home.
Besides
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, it is
also
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 a protective device for their home to avoid the entry of thieves.
On the other hand
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, despite the
benefits
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 mentioned above, I believe that
technology
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 can
also
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 cause problems for individuals. Some hackers can access people’s data and information in order to get their money.
Therefore
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, everyone could risk their personal data being stolen for another financial gain.
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,
this
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 data could be sold to another party for business or political purposes.
In addition
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, it can
also
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 be detrimental to a love affair. To sum it all up,
technology
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 has improved our lives and reduced the number of criminals. For me, I believe that the numerous
benefits
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 outweigh the few drawbacks.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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