Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

When it comes to

technology

these days, it is more and more popular and used to track or monitor people.

Furthermore

, people don’t even know that they are being followed by another person. In my opinion, the

benefits

of using

technology

to monitor outweigh its drawbacks. On the one hand,

technology

offers people several

benefits

. For one, in industry, it is an indispensable part of the monitoring of product-making processes.

Furthermore

, it is

also

integrated into the machine and personal management systems.

Secondly

, the camera system is equipped on roads and deserted places to help police in crime investigation, from which the rates of crime can decline.

Thirdly

, in the family, it can be useful for monitoring their children

as well as

knowing what their children do when their parents are not at home.

Besides

, it is

also

a protective device for their home to avoid the entry of thieves.

On the other hand

, despite the

benefits

mentioned above, I believe that

technology

can

also

cause problems for individuals. Some hackers can access people’s data and information in order to get their money.

Therefore

, everyone could risk their personal data being stolen for another financial gain.

Besides

this

data could be sold to another party for business or political purposes.

In addition

, it can

also

be detrimental to a love affair. To sum it all up,

technology

has improved our lives and reduced the number of criminals. For me, I believe that the numerous

benefits

outweigh the few drawbacks.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Sat May 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A school of thought holds that crime stems from social issues and poverty, while the alternative stance asserts that it is the innate human characteristics that result in criminal acts. From my point of view, while both perspectives have some validity, I believe that socioeconomic factors play a more significant role in driving criminal activity.
4
band
Some people believe that tourism promotes the economy while other argue that tourism destroy the environmental. Discuss both views.
In the last few years, most people like to travel other countries, spend more interesting time with family or friends. There are many types of expedition such as watch the beautiful nature, rest with their children, conversance other countries culture, try to other traditional foods and watch favorite singers festival. Some developed countries governments have created new tourist attraction for national economy. However other countries have found in other ways for economy.
<4
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Whilst the vast majority of people believe that poor countries require financial aid to thrive, that is not applicable in all cases, and in fact they might not need any kind of support at all, the support might backfire into tipping the eco-iceberg of the country. One story that exemplifies this is the company that sent out clothes to a poor country, resulting in tailors from that country losing their source of income, but I digress.
8.5
band
Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some people are keen on eating outside the house, while others love to cook at home. This essay will discuss why this is the case and the reasons I prefer homemade meals.
6
band
What are the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education system?
The use of computers in the educational system has changed the way students learn and interact with each other. It has reached faster access to knowledge and also excellent collaboration between students and teachers. However, there are both advantages and disadvantages of using computers in the educational system.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that tourism promotes the economy while other argue that tourism destroy the environmental. Discuss both views.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education system?