IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can be better for their overall skills development and creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree?

#activity #child #skills #development #creativity
These days, some people argue the need for doing enjoyable
activities
 with their
children
 to improve kids’
overall
skills
 development and originality rather than reading with them. I am largely in agreement with
this
 view.
That is
 because
while
 joyful
activities
 always help
children
 to stay healthy mentally and physically, doing only reading might cause childhood
obesity
 and isolation.
To begin
 with, some individuals think that
parents
 can help their
children
's entire
skills
 and creative development by doing enjoyable
activities
 with them
such
 as sports and arts.
For instance
,
children
 who do sports with
parents
 or
friends
 on a regular basis can improve their physical health. Indeed, a majority of
parents
 in South Korea try to take their
children
 to soccer clubs to build their kids' healthy fitness.
Children
 can
also
 develop their social
skills
 by doing team sports since they have to play
together with
 other
friends
.
Furthermore
, if
children
 do artistic
activities
such
 as drawing, sketching and painting, they will definitely improve their creativities including keeping mental health. Doing arts always helps young people imagine interesting thoughts and feel relaxed and therapeutic.
However
,
although
 reading with
children
 is beneficial to develop their imagination or originality,
this
 might cause serious
obesity
. Nowadays, childhood
obesity
 is a severe problem in our society. If
children
 read
books
 with their
parents
 or
friends
 all the time at home or school, they can gain a lot of weight. It will lead them to serious
obesity
. Interestingly,
obesity
 can bring other diseases
such
 as diabetes, and cardiovascular ailments. So
parents
 should be careful of their
children
's reading time.
Moreover
, if
children
 read only
books
 without communication with
friends
 or family, they feel isolated.
This
 means that only reading
books
 might cause mental illnesses
such
 as depression. So, it will affect
children
 in a negative way.
To sum up
, even though reading
books
 is helpful for
children
 to have creativity, doing enjoyable
activities
 is more important since it helps
children
 to develop
overall
skills
 and originality.
Submitted by lym1049 on

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