IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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One of the widely discussed topics in the contemporary world is that the subject of financial
literacy
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 should be included in school education programs. Personally, I tend to believe that these lessons would assist
students
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 to enhance their financial abilities, which will be useful in the
future
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 and broaden their horizons. To commence with, the overwhelming majority of
students
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 are financially dependent on their parents,
therefore
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 they do not pay attention to their incomes and outcomes. In the
future
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 these individuals face problems with controlling their
money
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,
as a result
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, they are likely to be left without cash.
Moreover
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, if people were educated from a young age about finances, and how to leverage them mindfully, they would have a financially stable life. To take one example, a recent government survey found that 58% of poor people are suffering from the fact that their outcomes are more than their profits.
Due to
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 the fact that they do not distribute
money
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 properly and do not have financial
literacy
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.
Additionally
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, financial
literacy
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 is crucial
as well as
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 other STEM subjects, since it plays an essential role in everyday life. By learning about the benefits of properly allocating
money
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students
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 can effortlessly acquire new knowledge.
Furthermore
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, individuals could obtain some skills regarding the usage of
money
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, because maturely leveraging can help prevent
future
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 issues.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the UK's national research, graduates who were performing great in financial
literacy
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 subject had successful adult lives, in comparison with
students
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 who were not taught financial
literacy
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.
To conclude
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, children should be taught about
money
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 and
overall
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 finances from a young age, since it has an impact on personal development and
future
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 mature life.

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Connector Usage
Remember to include a wider range of connector phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay even more coherent.
Specific Examples
To improve task achievement, ensure your examples are detailed and specifically linked back to the main points to strengthen the argument.
Task Focus
Occasionally, revisit the essay question to ensure all parts are fully addressed, keeping your essay tightly focused on the task prompt.
Introduction Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
Argument Support
You've made strong, supported arguments for the inclusion of financial literacy in education.
Organization Structure
Your overall organization and structure are logical and help convey your ideas effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial literacy
  • Mandatory
  • Budgeting
  • Economic stability
  • Fiscal health
  • Credit
  • Interest rates
  • Investments
  • Curriculum
  • Informed decisions
  • Personal debt
  • Savings
  • Taxes
  • Expenditures
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Money management
  • Financial planning
  • Economic education
  • Financial competence
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