IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that the best way to solve global environment problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #environment #cost #fuel
Some individuals believe that the better method to tackle environmental issues is to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
the price of petrol. I totally disagree with
this
 statement, and I
woulid
Correct your spelling
would
 like to recommend some possible measures in order to improve
this
 situation. To being with, there are
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
 reasons why I believe that growing the
cost
 of
fuel
 is not the perfect solution.
Firstly
,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 price of
fuel
 can have a negative impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 live and make the problem worsen.
This
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 some
people
 live in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 or cities
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
 poor
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
infrastructure namely, public transport , which means
people
 do not have
alternative
Correct article usage
an alternative
show examples
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using vehicles.
Secondly
,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the
cost
 of petrol can
contributes
Wrong verb form
contribute
show examples
 to
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 up
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
cost
 of basic needs
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 food, goods,
clothes
Correct word choice
and clothes
show examples
,
this
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 transfer these products via cars and trucks which
uesd
Correct your spelling
use
fuel
.
Therefore
,
increase
 the gap between wealthy and poor
people
 , and
also
increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty and encourage
people
 to commit
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
 in order to meet their
familiies
Correct your spelling
family's
 responsibilities. Regarding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
alternative solutions to
this
 issue , I think the government can make a huge difference by
adopating
Correct your spelling
adopting
 some steps. The first
meausre
Correct your spelling
measure
 the
authouirties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 can make
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
show examples
 in
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transport system
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 buses, subways,
railways
Correct word choice
and railways
show examples
 to make it more convenient and faster to motivate
people
 to utilize
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 measure, incentivize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies ,schools, and
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 to
allows
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
 students and employees to work or study from home.
Thus
, these steps can assist to reduce the number of cars on the roads
as well as
 CO2 footprint ,
also
mitigat
Correct your spelling
mitigate
 climate change and global warming. In conclusion, it seems to me that
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the
cost
 of
fuel
 is not
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 solution and I suggested effective methods to deal with environmental problems.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: