Obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries What are the main causes of it What measure can be taken to solve it?

#obesity #countries #measure

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that

obesity

Use synonyms

is a challenging issue facing the world today.

While

Linking Words

there are a variety of reasons responsible for it, steps can

Correct your spelling

definitely

definietly

Correct your spelling

definitely

be taken to address it Rising

obesity

Use synonyms

has several reasons. One possible reason is that

people

Use synonyms

consume

Change preposition

apply

show examples

excessive

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of processed

food

Use synonyms

because it is delicious and convenient. these types of

food

Use synonyms

contain a lot of calories and unhealthy fat which causes them to gain

wiight

Correct your spelling

weight

. Another reason is that

people

Use synonyms

have limited scope for physical activity as most of the everyday activities of modern lifestyle are sedentary.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

burn fewer calories than they consume on a given day.

Besides

Linking Words

, the reluctance of

people

Use synonyms

exercise

Use synonyms

or play any

physical

Change the word

physically

show examples

engaging sports is one of the main reasons why

obesity

Use synonyms

is increasing so rapidly.

Obesity

Use synonyms

can certainly be tackled.

Firstly

Linking Words

in addition

Linking Words

to encouraging everyone to maintain a healthy diet, the availability of junk

food

Use synonyms

should be restricted.

For example

Linking Words

, when someone has to walk a mile to grab a burger, they will be less motivated to do it.

Secondly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can redesign their lifestyle in a way that makes it easy for them to have more physical moments.

Finally

Linking Words

, motivating

people

Use synonyms

to play sports or

exercise

Use synonyms

is probably the most effective approach to

tavkle

Correct your spelling

tackle

this

Linking Words

problem.

This

Linking Words

is because once

people

Use synonyms

start doing

exercise

Use synonyms

they will be concerned about what they should eat and what they ought to avoid. In conclusion,

obesity

Use synonyms

will continue to be a problem unless the availability of

processesd

Correct your spelling

processed

processes

food

Use synonyms

is controlled, the

sedentery

Correct your spelling

sedentary

lifestyle is reversed and

people

Use synonyms

are encouraged to

exercise

Use synonyms

more.

Submitted by rifataranawshin on Thu Oct 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument, particularly in the section discussing the causes and solutions for obesity.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that all paragraphs have a clear main point and consider using more varied linking phrases or words to enhance cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Proofread your essay to correct small grammatical errors and typos, such as 'definietly' (definitely), 'wiight' (weight), and 'sedentery' (sedentary) to make the text more polished.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the task by discussing the causes of obesity and suggesting measures to solve it, fulfilling the task requirement comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effectively present, giving the essay a complete structure.

coherence cohesion

You have successfully provided logical reasoning in explaining the reasons for obesity, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Psychologists have known for many years that colour can affect how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to colour schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals. How true is this statement? How far does colour influence people's health and capacity for work? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Experts in psychology have been aware of the effects that various shades can create for a long time. Each colour cause a particular emotion, hence it is quite meaningful to consider where to use them as elements of design. This essay will shed light on the reasons why in facilities such as health centres should not be used the same decor choices as in offices and other establishments and in what ways tones can influence humans‘ wellbeing and working abilities from my own perspective.
5
band
In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
As time passed, the way of working has changed among people. Since technology has improved, numerous new developments have come across. Furthermore, instead of going to work offices every day, many people tend to work from home and do their tasks online. This method has come forward with various pros and cons.
7.5
band
Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Over the past decade, monumental technological advancements have become the defining phenomenon on a global scale. Innovations led by scientists, particularly in the Internet and Technology (IT) sector, have given rise to transformative devices such as smartphones. The heightened accessibility of these devices has resulted in their widespread and extended use, a trend observed across various age groups, including children who often find themselves immersed in prolonged smartphone interactions.
5
band
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?
These days many careers such as healthcare provider and tutor are migrating to work in the developed world for a better future. Although there are several problems related to this matter, solutions are on hand to address them.
4
band
Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth . However , some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues .
It is an argument whether innovative projects in society should be focused on economy and producing wealth or should consider environmental priorities. This essay will discuss both notions and also shed light on my perspective.

Obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries What are the main causes of it What measure can be taken to solve it?

Fully explain your ideas

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth . However , some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues .