Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe physical studying in classrooms is beneficial to children's education.
Nevertheless
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,it is argued that focusing on academic
lessons
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during the period of learning time might be more crucial. In my opinion, both aspects are advantageous for
students
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' schooling in tandem as those are a great combination of studying effectiveness.
Firstly
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, educational
lessons
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are somewhat important in general. As we know, there are many effective categories of learning methods excluding only attending physical
classes
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.
For example
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, remote studying through well-known online platforms ,
such
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as Zoom and Google Meet, has become a more acceptable and productive way these days after the COVID-19 epidemic,which significantly resulted in the alteration of people's lifestyles including learning methods. From my experience,it does not matter which options of learning the
students
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select but it is important how well
students
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can pay attention to those
lessons
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.
For instance
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, I am a person who prefers studying at home via online channels because I can pay my full attention to the content. After that, I realised that the effectiveness of online and physical
classes
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with a focus on the
lessons
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equally hardly varies in the results of education.
On the other hand
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, focusing on the educational
lessons
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might be prioritized and
then
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followed by the types of
classes
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,namely physical
classes
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or online
classes
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.
However
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, I personally think that the alternative of learning categories is still crucial as the second priority,particularly in some groups of
students
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who can absolutely focus on the real
lessons
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and might not be distracted by any surrounding environment.
Conversely
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,some people who might be distracted easily by their surroundings may prefer physical
classes
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because they considerably demand a supportive atmosphere to encourage their studying period.
To conclude
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, I believe that focusing on the academic
lessons
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is the first priority followed by the types of learning methods as a second.
However
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, being in a great environment supporting the schooling time like in a physical classroom might be advantageous for some
students
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as well.
Submitted by phanphetpor on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraphing is clearer, with distinct topics for each paragraph. This will improve the structure and flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas are repeated, try to avoid redundancy and maintain a balanced discussion between both views.
task achievement
To enhance clarity, make sure there is a clear explanation of how arguments support your viewpoint. This will reinforce a stronger task achievement.
overall
Proofread for minor grammatical and punctuation mistakes for a more polished academic tone.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are provided, helping to frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant specific examples to support the arguments, especially with reference to online learning.
task achievement
Both views are discussed, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.
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