Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

#people #money #happiness #importance

Many

people

believe that to be happy, one needs to have a massive amount of

money

While

money

is essential for survival, it is not necessary to achieve

happiness

Happiness

is a state of mind closely connected to the well-being of the

people

we love.

Firstly

, if

money

had been necessary for

happiness

, only rich

people

would have been happy. If we go by facts, two-thirds of the world's population will be unhappy.

However

that is

not the case. We often come across

people

who do menial jobs, but we still see a smile on their faces.

People

who are suffering from dreadful diseases can be seen living their life cheerfully.

In other words

, being happy has more to do with contentment than the amount of

money

in the bank.

Secondly

, an individual's

happiness

depends on the satisfaction of the

people

they care for. No matter how rich he is, a father cannot stay happy if his children are suffering from life-threatening ailments with no cure.

However

, a father from a lower income group might be pleased if his children are healthy and living an everyday life.

Money

is essential for meeting daily needs, but it is not required for achieving

happiness

in life.

Happiness

can be derived from a positive mindset and by getting comfort from the well-being of your family.

Submitted by nqhuy.ir on Sun May 28 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

facilitation
foundational
comfort
financial stability
pursue hobbies
passionate
fulfilling
satisfying
financial security
peace of mind
mental well-being
fostering
social connections
fulfillment
material possessions
lasting memories
satisfaction
diminishing returns
wealth
translate
significant

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Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

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