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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#children #lifestyle #schools #parents
Unhealthy
Correct article usage
An unhealthy
show examples
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 is becoming the vast majority of
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 these days, especially in kids. Many kids these days have an unhealthy lifestyle, so education programs and
parents
 are in charge of finding
this
 problem. I do agree that responsibility has been done with both of them and I would explain with some following reasons. Regarding
schools
 as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 main place where
children
 socialize with their classmates. Kids as immature individuals tend to
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 all activities that they do
together with
 their friends,
such
 as eating habits. Doing lunch and snacking together is the happiest part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 because
children
 can eat and gather with their friends outside the class, either taking
food
 from home or buying
food
 in the canteen. Without restrictions from the
schools
, the variety of
food
that is
 served
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the
food
 tenants in
canteen
Correct article usage
the canteen
show examples
 might be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
children
’s health.
In addition
, making rules for
food
 stalls could be a wise solution, not only for
children
 but
also
 for the superintendent.
However
,
parents
 as the tiniest unit where
children
 live
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
 important as
schools
.
Parents
 look to be fair to protect or punish their
children
 regarding the types of
food
 that they are eaten. Not only that, physical activities are the other contributor that
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to unhealthy lifestyles. Having an appropriate schedule might be helpful to guide the
children
. Because, it seems like in the
schools
,
parents
 have their own rules that might be applied or not. All in all, both
schools
 and
parents
 have the main role in limiting an unhealthy lifestyle for
children
. As the responsibility is equal, education programs and
parents
 have their own guidance
that is
 suitable for their students, for
schools
 and for their
children
 in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy lifestyle
  • growing concern
  • crucial role
  • addressing this issue
  • promote healthy habits
  • educational programs
  • physical activities
  • establish healthy routines
  • nutritious meals
  • collaboration
What to do next:
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