Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#world #adults #home #children #study #technology #development

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Nowadays, parents

along with

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their children, who are all over the globe, are starting to work and study from

home

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because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology has become much

affordable

Correct quantifier usage

more affordable

show examples

and attainable. I think

this

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is a negative development because it can reduce

social

Correct article usage

the social

show examples

skills

Use synonyms

of children, and it can lead to physical and mental health problems as well.

To begin

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with, attending

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apply

show examples

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

is not only about gaining knowledge.

In addition

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to learning subjects, the school’s students learn social

skills

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which will be essential in the future

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show examples

their work

life

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and personal

life

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, if children attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school daily, they will develop

skills

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team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

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and unity;

on the other hand

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, if they choose to study at

home

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instead

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, they will become asocial and shy in the presence of new people.

Moreover

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, physical and mental health issues have

becoming

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become

show examples

a detrimental issue in recent years among

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

population. Studying from

home

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, which

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

staying

one

Change preposition

in one

show examples

place for a long time, can lead to a sedentary

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life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

;

as a result

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, it can cause obesity, heart conditions and bone diseases.

Similarly

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, self-isolation can lead to mental illnesses.

For instance

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, excessive studying, which is crucial for building a good

life

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, can eventually lead to depression.

However

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, if students have friends, they can share their experiences and support each other, thereby reducing the amount of stress. In conclusion, studying and working from

home

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have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

become a new trend in recent years;

however

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, I think

this

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is an unfavourable development because students cannot develop social

skills

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, and it can lead to physical and mental health problems too.

Submitted by shanikamaduri on Sun May 28 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remote work
e-learning
accessibility
inclusive
productivity
personalized learning
disciplined routine
interpersonal skills
cybersecurity
sustainability
work-life balance
physical disabilities

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