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Band 7

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
#water #usage #san #diego #california #rest #world
The given charts give information about the amount of
water
 used in
San
Diego
,
California
 and the rest of the world.
Overall
,
while
 city dwellers use
water
 the most in
San
Diego
 and
California
,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in the rest of the world takes up the lowest portion.
Furthermore
, worldwide agricultural
water
 usage is the highest out of
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 charts. The proportion of residential
water
 usage in
San
Diego
 County is over half as much again as that of
California
 and that of both charts accounts for the highest portion.
In contrast
, the
water
 used for agriculture in
San
Diego
 and
California
 is the smallest fraction, at 17% and 28% respectively.
San
Diego
’s industry uses
water
 10% less than that of
California
. In the rest of the world, agricultural
water
 usage occupies over a half portion and is over four as much as that of
San
Diego
 County
while
 residents use the least compared with the others.
In addition
, the
water
 used for the industry is the same as that of
San
Diego
 and 10% lower than
California
.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, san, diego, california with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • households
  • significant
  • industrial use
  • implications
  • agriculture
  • geographical
  • climatic
  • economic factors
  • patterns
  • sustainability
  • practices
  • surprising
  • exceptionally
  • improvements
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