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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart gives information about marriage and children in a selection countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart gives information about marriage and children in a selection countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates the statistic of babies born compared to the average age at first marriage in nine countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, the trend for the average age of a merger does not equivalent to the
children
Use synonyms
 they have.
For example
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, Danish tend to marry after 32, but they only have 1-2 kids only.
While
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 Kenya has the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 (more than three), the married age on 22. As appear in the chart, there are four countries which have a high average wedding
number
Use synonyms
 (around 30-33) and have 1-2
children
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 (the countries are Australia, Netherlands, United Kingdom and Denmark).
Whereas
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, Kenya and India had the most
children
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 (more than 2) but they chose to stay with a partner in their early 20s (22 and 24, respectively). Surprisingly, the Chinese prefer to build a family at around 26 but have the lowest
number
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 of
children
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, which only have no more than 2 offspring.
Lastly
Linking Words
, women in Brazil and Denmark choose to marry in their middle 20s (26 and 27, respectively) with a well-balanced
number
Use synonyms
 of babies they have (1-2 babies).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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