The graph given illustrate the used devices in the 18 to 25 age group in canada used to watch television in two different years(2009 and 2018).

#devices #age #group #canada #television #two #years

The graph given

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

the used devices in the 18 to 25 age group in

canada

Change the capitalization

Canada

show examples

used

Correct pronoun usage

that used

show examples

to watch television in two different years(2009 and 2018). At the

onest

Correct your spelling

onset

honest

Change preposition

apply

show examples

conventional

was the highest device that people used in 2009 ,

while

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

made up the lowest.

In contrast

, in 2019 flat -screen

had the

higest

Correct your spelling

highest

number of

users

whereas

conventional

took the lowest point. The pie chart

demonstrate

Change the verb form

demonstrates

show examples

that conventional

had the most

porportion

Correct your spelling

proportion

of 34% of

users

in comparison to a mere 5% who used tablet at the year of 2009.

Conversely

, in 2019,

whereas

the lowest

presentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

users

who use conventional

flat -screen

Correct your spelling

flat-screen

show examples

had the largest amount of

users

which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

accounted for 27%. Among the remaining instruments, in 2009 laptops had the highest number of device manipulators, accounting for 20% of the total.

This

accounted for quite similar proportions for both desktop and

tabelt

Correct your spelling

tablet

for

approxately

Correct your spelling

approximately

18% and 5% respectively.The reverse is seen in 2019

which

Correct word choice

when

show examples

desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

had

constant

Correct article usage

a constant

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

percentage of 12% as

oppsed

Correct your spelling

opposed

to tablet

users

rate which rose marginally to 19% in the next year.

Submitted by s_syedy on Tue May 30 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, users with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

192 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph given illustrate the used devices in the 18 to 25 age group in canada used to watch television in two different years(2009 and 2018).

With increasing popularity of online learning, some people believe that traditional classroom education will become obsolete. Do you agree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both online and traditional learning methods.

Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You recently ordered something online; when you opened the packet the product was damaged with which you were disappointed

This drawing guides you through the steps for making freeze-dried coffee from start to finish. This is a linear process. Describe the process for making freeze-dried coffee. Write a minimum of 150 words.