IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport Write an email to your friend. In your email • recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn • explain how your friend could learn this sport • suggest that you both learn this sport together You do NOT need to write any addresses.Begin your letter as follows: Dear...,

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email #addresses
Dear Maggie, I’m really nice to hear that you are planning to explore a new sport. I highly recommend swimming for you! I believe that it is the best sport for you to go ahead. You’ll have no
worry
Fix the agreement mistake
worries
show examples
 about weather conditions throughout the year because the temperature of the pool water and the changing room are all warm in the winter,
while
 in summer, you can swim inside, protecting your skin away from the strong sunshine. I know you care that most! I suggest you start with a personal coach because for safety reasons you’d better clearly know basic rules and skills under the water. After that, joining a small group session should be another option for you to choose. I am more than happy to try it
together with
 you because I really need
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular exercise to keep fit now. I think if we go together we will definitely be more
determinate
Replace the word
determined
show examples
.
Also
, it’ll be a great chance for us to catch up during break time, and we can have a simple lunch together afterwards. Call me when you are free, let’s discuss more about it. Best wishes Care 18mind
Submitted by careyche on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your email addresses all the points in the task, including recommending a sport, explaining how to learn it, and suggesting to learn it together. You've done this effectively, but make sure every section is fully developed for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Using a variety of sentence structures and linking words can enhance the flow of your ideas. Consider incorporating more complex sentence structures and transitions to improve this.
Language
For an even stronger response, integrate a wider range of vocabulary related to sports, learning processes, and personal development. This will also enrich your task achievement score.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: