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Band 8

Cases of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think are the causes of this? How can we tackle this issue?

#cases #school
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Problems of harassment in school have been rising and exacerbating these days. Meanwhile,
this
 is a serious issue, it can be dealt with by teaching students how to live with others harmoniously rather than competitively. First of all, the main reason for bullying is the competitive atmosphere in schools. Young people try to be superior to their classmates in order to get better test scores, which makes students feel jealous and discriminate against other peers.
For instance
, when I was in high school, a few friends were bullied just because they studied way too hard.
This
 proves that excessive competition tends to cause bullies.
Furthermore
, today’s youngsters know the fact that they are not going to get punished as seriously as adults. Since they know they will not go to jail, they can easily and meanly harm other classmates mentally and physically.
However
, there are some solutions to
this
 problem. Lessening high competition in schools is likely to decrease bullying cases. Rather than focusing on the study itself, encouraging the young to learn how to study and achieve goals together is more imperative.
For example
, my homeroom teacher asked students, who had better test scores than others, to help their friends who needed more effort when it comes to studying, and it did work. Through
this
 experience, we learnt we could strive for one goal without competition.
Also
, there was no bullying as we became closer
while
 studying. In conclusion,
it is clear that
 bullying issues are getting more serious, they can be solved by teaching youngsters how they can be harmonized with others.
Submitted by cycy1313 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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