when a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. it is pointless to try and keep them alive. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#country #technology #skills #life

Nowadays

technology

develops every day and causes fading out of previous traditional ways of life.

This

essay will discuss what can lead to the popularity of

technology

and if it is better to live as

people

used to. First of all, the development of

technology

improves social activities

such

as communication, studying, working and

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

. Today

people

can easily talk with each other

due to

social media, and apps,

for example

, Whatsapp is a really good app to communicate with your friends, family members and other

people

Moreover

, the modernization of

technology

made studying way easier, there are a lot of videos, courses and articles all over the internet to help many students and employers. Modern skills

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and ways of life help us not to spend hours,

for instance

people

make online shops to save time by sitting at home and choosing what they need to purchase, which makes online shops to be more convenient.

As a result

, the traditional skills

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

disappeared by innovations.

However

, many

people

stopped doing physical activity

due to

new

technology

, we use chats a lot,

instead

of going out and meeting our friends or relatives.

Nevertheless

, modern vehicles and factories contribute to the pollution of the ecosystem and

thus

cause a detrimental effect on our world and humanity. At

this

point, the traditional ways of moving were less damaging to

people

and nature. In conclusion, I want to say that the advancement of

technology

has more privileges to society

such

as human development and civilisation.

Submitted by eva.tokmakova12 on Tue May 30 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancement
Efficiency
Global connectivity
Cultural identity
Diversity
Innovation
Coexist
Sustainable
Eco-friendly
Energy-intensive
Practical skills
Self-sufficiency
Homogenize
Preservation
Global diversity

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when a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. it is pointless to try and keep them alive. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fun for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

More and more people use private cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport?

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. What problems does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?

Compare new and old generation's interests you can mention. Advantages and disadvantages of their interest.