Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
facilities
are one of the crucial factors of any government. It is argued that increasing the number of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
amenities can lead to enhance public
health
, others claim that it would give
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of
people
. I agree with
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
idea that more
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
chance
people
to improve their
health
and
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
essay I will discuss both views and give some examples. On the one hand, the best way to improve
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
is
construction
Add an article
the construction
a construction
show examples
of different
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
amenities.
In other words
, every person is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
individium
Correct your spelling
individual
individuum
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means that each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
ability to do different
sports
.
For example
, in my region, Which is located in Batys-2, there are a lot of
sports
facilities
,
such
as tennis cord,
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
show examples
pool,
is
Correct word choice
and is
show examples
scating
Correct your spelling
skating
.
IF
Correct your spelling
If
show examples
a person is
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
tennis, they can easily
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
what they want and
such
kind of
sports
can really improve the
health
of
people
.
On the other hand
, more
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
anot
Correct your spelling
not
always give much effect that we expected and there are other measures that need to solve. What I mean
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
show examples
of
people
is more important than increasing
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
.
For instance
,
people
who earn a little money can not go to
gim
Correct your spelling
gym
or tennis to play.
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
facilities
are usually expensive. If the government would pay attention
people
to
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
in different
sports
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
free,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I am convinced that the
health
of
people
can improve. In conclusion, I believe that more
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
can give
people
more
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
to participate and it is the best way to improve public
health
.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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