Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Use synonyms
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
are one of the crucial factors of any government. It is argued that increasing the number of
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
amenities can lead to enhance public
health
Use synonyms
, others claim that it would give
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
. I agree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
idea that more
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
chance
people
Use synonyms
to improve their
health
Use synonyms
and
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
essay I will discuss both views and give some examples. On the one hand, the best way to improve
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
is
construction
Add an article
the construction
a construction
show examples
of different
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
amenities.
In other words
Linking Words
, every person is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
individium
Correct your spelling
individual
individuum
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means that each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
ability to do different
sports
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in my region, Which is located in Batys-2, there are a lot of
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as tennis cord,
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
show examples
pool,
is
Correct word choice
and is
show examples
scating
Correct your spelling
skating
.
IF
Correct your spelling
If
show examples
a person is
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
tennis, they can easily
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
what they want and
such
Linking Words
kind of
sports
Use synonyms
can really improve the
health
Use synonyms
of
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
anot
Correct your spelling
not
always give much effect that we expected and there are other measures that need to solve. What I mean
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
is more important than increasing
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who earn a little money can not go to
gim
Correct your spelling
gym
or tennis to play.
Use synonyms
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
are usually expensive. If the government would pay attention
people
Use synonyms
to
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
in different
sports
Use synonyms
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
free,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I am convinced that the
health
Use synonyms
of
people
Use synonyms
can improve. In conclusion, I believe that more
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
can give
people
Use synonyms
more
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
to participate and it is the best way to improve public
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: