IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

To meet the grow need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

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The world population growth is creating worries about
food
Use synonyms
 demand and offers in the future.
Therefore
Linking Words
 one option has been found, and it is
insects
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 transformed into human
food
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.
However
Linking Words
, there is some opposition about it and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss some positive and negative effects of
this
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 new choice of
food
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 on human health. Specialists say that there is not enough land to plant and produce
food
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 for the
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further
Correct word choice
apply
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growing population. And so, other sources of
food
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 are being sought in order to fulfil the increasing demand tendency of
food
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. One of them was found in
insects
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, for the protein and nutrients biologists say they have, especially on their crater.
However
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, there are some harmful reasons to discard
this
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 option as the only feeding backwards. Harms might
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
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 not only with
insects
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’ potential to spread
out
Change preposition
apply
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sickness as disease vectors but
also
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 with their impact on the natural feeding chain, as they have the duty to banish some parasites from the crops. As a balance, if plantations get hindered by parasites,
food
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 production would
overall
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 be prejudiced.
Therefore
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, the drawbacks far overweight the benefits of eating
insects
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.
Thus
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, it just makes us think that each thing has its own place in the world, and definitely
insects
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 were not made to be on people’s dinner tables. In conclusion, the risk to health and nature by eating
insects
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does
Verb problem
is
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 not worth it as a
food
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 complement to the lack of
food
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 in the face of the increasing
food
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 demand now and in the future.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the thesis and transitions smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to support your points about the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects.
task achievement
Clarify your explanations to enhance comprehension. Some points, such as the potential health risks, could be elaborated further.
task achievement
You present a clear position on the topic and attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the main issues at hand regarding food demand and the role of insects.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable
  • nutritional value
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • protein source
  • economic viability
  • cultural acceptance
  • harvesting
  • allergens
  • pathogens
  • traditional livestock
  • food security
  • environmental impact
  • food source
  • market growth
  • job creation
  • insect farming
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