These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

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The number of fathers staying at home taking
care
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of their children has significantly increased in the past few years.
This
Linking Words

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essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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phenomenon and whether it is a positive or negative development. The relationship between men and women has radically evolved since the twentieth century.
Thus
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, a girl nowadays can work as much as a boy does and the latter can take
care
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the kids.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my family, my mother is a working lawyer and it is usually my father who takes
care
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of my siblings and
I
Change the pronoun
me

It appears you have used the subject pronoun I in an objective position. Consider changing it.

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. The fact that more men stay inside to look after their kids constitutes a positive development for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society because children are now raised by both their parents equally. Traditionally, the father would be very absent in
its
Correct pronoun usage
his

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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childrens’
Change noun form
children’s

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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life.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, now that things have changed, kids are raised in a more healthy and equal environment, where the husband and wife have the same rights and importance, which inspires them.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, little girls are inspired by their working mothers, and boys learn that it is possible for them to stay inside to take
care
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of their future son or daughter. In conclusion, the increase in the number of men taking
care
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of their babies can be explained by the evolution
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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relationships, which has allowed women to go out to work more.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

constitutes a benefit for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society because now that both
parts
Correct your spelling
parties

The word parts doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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are equal in the couple, boys and girls are inspired to become like their parental figures and they learn that it is possible for them both to work and
to
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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stay at home.
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task achievement
Provide more points to comprehensively cover the reasons for this trend; possible areas include economic factors, changing societal roles, or increased support for parental leave.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph includes clear topic sentences to maintain focus and improve overall structure.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or data to support points, rather than anecdotal personal examples; this will enhance the overall credibility of your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Strong introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear starting and ending point for the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task, discussing the reasons for the increased number of stay-at-home fathers as well as the broader societal impact of this trend.
logical structure
Logical progression between ideas and well-organized paragraphs contribute to overall readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • breadwinner
  • caregiving
  • paternal leave
  • societal perceptions
  • gender roles
  • flexible working conditions
  • personal preference
  • father-child relationship
  • emotional and social development
  • household responsibilities
  • career opportunities
  • professional achievements
  • balanced parenting
  • earning potential
  • social stigma
  • societal pressure
  • discrimination
  • traditional mindsets
  • resentment
  • adjustment
What to do next:
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